Games by Kinmoku
  • Blog
  • Games
    • One Night Stand
    • VIDEOVERSE
  • Artwork
  • About
    • Contact
    • Press Kit

My thoughts on FF7 Remake

5/17/2020

 
Okay. This is going to be a long post but there are a lot of words I need to get out of my system...

It's no surprise to my followers that Final Fantasy VII is my favourite game of all time. I doubt there will ever be anything to knock it from that spot, too, as FF7 came into my life at the pivotal age of 11 years old – I was reaching the end of my childhood, entering adolescence and becoming the adult I am today.

When I finished FF7 for the first time, I remember feeling lost and alone. The characters and world I'd spent so much time with were gone, the story was finished and the music I'd fallen in love with had stopped playing. I didn't know what to do with myself apart from play it again, but I knew it wouldn't be the same as that first time, and I couldn't exactly keep replaying it the rest of my life.

Two things happened; the first being my introduction to anime. After completing FF7, I came across a music video animated by Studio 4°C (The Bluetones - 4 day weekend) and I realised it had a similar art style and theme. After some research, I learned that this was called anime and made in Japan, so I researched into it via the early internet. I stumbled across Sailor Moon, Tokimeki Memorial (which I still haven't played!) and even learnt about the sequel to FF7: Final Fantasy 8. Then Pokémon took over the planet and soon everyone knew was anime was, but it's obvious through my work and art style that Japanese animation has had a huge influence on me, and it started with FF7.

I first discovered FF7 through my brother, as his friend lent him a copy of the game for PC (yup, we played a pirated version...) and I sat to watch him play. However, my brother was busy studying for his exams at the time and didn't play as much as I wanted to. Eventually, I decided to start my own game and played it on his PC before he came home from college. I even roped in my best friend and we ended up defeating Sephiroth long before he did. Yet, despite all this, when I completed the game for the first time, I somehow felt like I had no-one to share it with – That no-one got it the same way I did. My brother didn't finish it for many years and my friend preferred The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, though I think the loneliness I felt also had something to do with my parents: I wanted them to experience this wonderful story which I found life-changing, but they don't play games at all. So, the second thing that happened once I completed FF7 was me literally praying that the creators make a movie of FF7. Everyone, even my parents, watches movies.
Picture
I was surprisingly quite a religious kid.
Be careful what you wish for! As we know, Square did make a FF7 movie several years later. At first, I couldn't believe my wishes had come true, but when I finally watched it, I hated it. To me Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children was style over substance, and although I enjoyed the music and seeing some of the characters in HD, I disliked the plot, "coolness" and how all the characters who'd died had somehow been brought back through flashbacks, reunions, the lifestream...whatever nonsense they could think of. (I recently read a brilliant article on how Advent Children undermines the theme of life, which is what FF7 is all about. You can read it here: https://goombastomp.com/advent-children-and-the-romanticization-of-final-fantasy-vii/). In my eyes, FF7 didn't need a sequel; It ended perfectly, and, like The Matrix, I decided to ignore it. However, upon starting the re-imagining of FF7 (FF7 Remake), I was left with mixed feelings. I hoped that, since the general consensus of Advent Children is now "bad", Square would not follow the same style with Remake as they did with AC, so I held onto this belief for the first 35 hours of the game, and then the ending happened.

I know many people reading this won't have finished the game yet, or even started it, so I will try my best to clearly mark spoilers in this post – both MINOR and MAJOR spoilers. 
MINOR ones will be discussing things like music, side-quests and new characters. However, MAJOR SPOILERS I recommend avoiding completely if you're a fan of FF7 and want to play Remake yourself. However, from now on I will be talking more about the original game and Advent Children, spoiling them completely as they have been out for many years now. You have been warned!

Let's start by going back in time and remembering how Remake came to be. In 2005, Square teased a FF7 tech demo for PS3. It showed the game's opening cut-scene in stunning HD and the "fans" went wild. Cynical me, whilst enjoying seeing such a technical marvel, disliked what it meant. Soon, the "fans" were demanding a FF7 remake, stating how much it was needed because the original game was an ugly, convoluted, badly-translated mess. As someone who truly loves FF7, seeing this stuff hurt. I couldn't understand how "true fans" could say these things or even desire a remake, but I was very much in the minority loving FF7, warts and all.

One of my favourite things about the original is the blocky, chibi character models, yet it was clear from the tech demo that these would be the first thing to get axed. To me, this is a real shame because I believed a remake with Bravely Default-like character art would have worked much better. ​FF7's toy-like characters somehow work in a world where the protagonist is an amalgamation of his memories, his friend's, Jenova cells and his own weak will. Outlandish stories made sense in this world. The low-polygon models gave the player a sense of playing with dolls and, hence, were able to add their own interpretations to them. It also left room to focus more attention on the words, music and camera angles. I'm surprised even today at how certain shots and animations from the original succeed in expressing more emotion than Remake. I'm not convinced photo-realism is the best way to tell stories in video games.

Anyway, let's jump ahead 10 years to June 2015. It's E3 and Sony hosts its middle-of-the-night-UK-time conference. My boyfriend (now husband) and I caught up on the highlights the next morning. FYI he is a huge Shenmue fan.
Picture
I'll never forget how polar-opposite we were in that moment. He was overjoyed that Shenmue 3 was finally happening, whilst I was devastated FF7 was getting a remake. My fears had come true: The "fans" were getting what they want.

However, in the last couple of years leading up to Remake's release, Square Enix showed us trailers and promotional art of the game, and I can't deny that they gave me goosebumps. Nostalgia is a powerful force, especially now as the world feels so bleak – What I wouldn't give to be that carefree 11 year old again – So, I decided to give Remake a go. After all, I needed to play it for myself to be able to have an opinion on it.

FF7 Remake finally released on April 10th 2020, and I was there immediately. I vowed to work that day, but by lunchtime, I found myself back in Midgar, taking my very first steps in the reimagined world. For the first 30 minutes, I was in love: The music was great, the graphics were stunning, and I found myself walking around just staring at all the environmental detail. Pipes, crates and ladders have never been so interesting.
Picture
They're nice-looking pipes!
MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD

Although, there were occasional texture loading issues, I wished there was a photo mode so much. I sincerely hope they add one soon, as I'd like to replay the game with Japanese voice-overs, taking many, many photographs.

Anyway, for my first play-through, I used English voice-overs and, at the start, I disliked almost every voice. In the original game, there is only text, so you add your own impression of the character's voice in your mind. To me, Cloud was always serious, cocky and occasionally hilarious. In Remake, he's as you'd expect if you'd watched Advent Children: Emo, lethargic and fed-up.
Picture
Barret and Tifa seemed wrong, too, but after spending a few hours with them, they clicked for me. However, by then the party splits off and we meet Aerith, whose voice I again wasn't convinced by.

Worse than the voice-acting, though, is the iffy dialogue. I enjoyed the party chatting to each other throughout fights from time to time, but sometimes it went a little weird: Jokes fell flat, remarks were misread and I couldn't figure out if characters were being sarcastic or not. Barret said something said about Cloud being "1 year old" and I think it was meant to be a joke? Also, Barret's opening rant about saving the planet after the first mission felt awkward as hell, as this big scary dude, whose eyes you haven't even seen yet, is so angry that you think he's going to blast you into smithereens. This is something that didn't happen in the original, as Barret was a cute, chunky, lil' polygon man. Luckily, the dialogue improved as the game went on...Either that, or I got used to it.

When I play FF7, my squad is Cloud, Tifa and Red XIII. I love these characters the most and was excited to meet them in Remake. Sadly, I didn't like Tifa anywhere near as much as I did in the original. The general impression of her, I believe, is "she's a badass", but in Remake she is anxious, ruminating and often scared. Tifa has a big heart and this still came across, but the toughness she used to have – running a bar in the dodgy-looking slums – just isn't there. This is in part due to the slums themselves, which I'll discuss later. Now, I'm not saying Square Enix shouldn't have fleshed her out to have doubts or be more feminine or whatever, but it felt a little too far to me. I especially hated how she (and Jessie) couldn't talk without moving their whole bodies every time – Seriously, I'm surprised there haven't been memes made of this yet. Tifa's introduction was just weak, and Cloud's flashback to their childhood promise comes in randomly when he looks up at a building during a mission (?) instead of, like, you know...talking to Tifa herself. Remake does this kind of thing a lot – wanting to do something different from the original without considering why – and I really don't want to be that fan who disliked everything new, but most changes sucked. Many of the triggered memories, "headaches" and important story beats were too random and too frequent to be effective, too, and that's because Midgar is now a 40 hour game instead of 6-7 hours – Story gets padded over and over and over again.
Picture
Picture
When Aerith shows up, I found myself warming to her surprisingly quickly and enjoyed her character a lot. In Advent Children, she appears like this perfect goddess, not the gutsy girl who grew up in the slums, but Remake gets her right and shows the impact she has on opening up Cloud's heart. It's difficult to consider Tifa as a love interest in Remake, as Cloud is so withdrawn from her...Plus Tifa herself seems more interested in Aerith anyway (spawning many Tifa x Aerith fan arts/ memes!).

I was about to write that there was no dating mechanics in Remake – Aerith gives you a flower, still, but you can't give it to Marlene – however, I just read that there was an "affection scene" after all. The reason it wasn't obvious was because you earn it not by making a series of visual-novel-like choices from the original game, but by how many side quests you do in each chapter. This random scene also appears outside Aerith's house as a dream-like haze, so my highest affection with Aerith didn't seem out of place here. Whilst having side-quests add to affection points may make sense in the grand scheme of things (do you help Tifa's slum friends or Aerith's slum friends?), it's likely the majority of players are going to do them all for experience and rewards. Which character they want to be closest to probably isn't on their minds – It certainly wasn't on mine. Again, I'd prefer visual-novel-like dialogue choices where you understand what's going on. Often, Remake replaces dialogue choices, hidden secrets and puzzles with combat instead.

​The first side-quests open up when you reach the Sector 7 slums and the game becomes "open-world" (It even uses FF7's world map theme, ew). This is when Remake becomes your standard AAA affair, and instead of continuing with the story, you're now expected to break it up, kill some rodents and find lost kittens. This kind of thing always effects the pacing of a story, and it's no exception here. Luckily, I found these parts passed quickly as you're never overloaded by quests, but I still wonder what exactly they added, apart from perhaps a little purpose towards levelling up your party. Perhaps the intention was to get to know the slums better and understand how these people lived, but this didn't add anything. It's safe to say that players of the original game, even with only a few hours Midgar's slums, resented Shinra and the upper plate. It was clear just how gross the slums were, but instead of disgust, Remake focusses on pity. The old gritty slums under the rotting pizza are now brightly lit, airy little villages. Where it used to feel like a dangerous place, full of thugs, monsters and sick men living in pipes, Remake's slums are filled with kids and kittens. This isn't necessarily a bad change – you feel pity for the dwellers instead – though I'd argue if that's what they were trying to do, empathy would be better than pity. What did the developers want me to do with this pity? We were still going to plow ahead and blow up some reactors...Helping out folks in the slums isn't the goal of the game. Sadly, it didn't fuel my fire and only distracted me from the game's objective. It didn't even seem that bad to live in the slums...
.Until Shinra decides to drop a plate on you, that is.

SOME MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD

Or did they? Unlike FF7, where the plate instantly crashes down and kills everyone beneath it, Remake softens the blow with the plate only partially breaking down piece by piece. This gave the residents a chance to escape, and even Wedge made it out alive. Whilst a happier story, it lost the impact of just how cruel Shinra were in their ambitions to crush Avalanche...Though, again, showing hundreds of realistic humans getting crushed isn't quite the same as them being little toy people.

​END OF MAJOR SPOILERS (FOR NOW), MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD

There're options to play mini-games at this point, too. There are darts, squats, colosseum battles etc. though I found myself doing each of these only once, meaning I missed out on second limit breaks and collecting all the summons. For an open-world-like, AAA game, Remake is odd in that many mini-games cannot be returned to easily, if at all.

​I did most of the side-quests, but wanted to press on with the story since the pacing was slow for me. Chadley, a Shinra Inc. intern, gives you battle intel missions to do, which I found difficult to focus on at first due to the battle system being quite challenging. He'd ask me to assess a certain number of monsters before I could progress further, but when my ATB bar filled so sparingly, I always used it to ensure I didn't die. Despite this, though, I actually enjoyed the battle system in Remake. It's not too different from FFXV's battle system, which was new to me at the time. It's fast-paced and action-packed, but left little skill apart from bashing X. Remake, however, requires you to plan ahead and ensure you use the correct moves. I played on normal difficulty, but I hear hard is a fun challenge which I'd like to try on my next play-through.


I read a quote somewhere, which said "Final Fantasy 7: Remake LOVES its boss battles" and that rang true throughout. There are boss battles after boss battles where there were no boss battles before. Whilst I don't mind these additions, I occasionally felt fed up when fights took nearly 30 minutes because I went in with the incorrect materia setup and only just scraped by. Luckily, if you fail, you can retry from before the fight and even change your loadout. (Please make a note of this, as I wanted to change my loadout with my fight with Reno and it nearly ended in tears as I selected "Retry from last checkpoint", which was actually in the previous chapter, well before the fight with Airbuster which took me many attempts to defeat!) Remake prioritises its new battle system over everything, and whilst enjoyable, I miss being sneaky or doing optional content that doesn't require killing things. Luckily, you can still run up the stairs in Shinra Headquarters,

As a lover of turn-based strategy games and side-scrolling beat-em ups, I found Remake's battle system like a mix of both of them, comparable to combat in the Yakuza games. It requires tactics and is satisfying yet tough, though I couldn't always act fast enough, especially when it came to dodging and blocking. I'd often switch between characters so I could get a breather from relentless, player-focused attacks. My typical squad of Cloud, Tifa and Red XIII was slowly becoming Cloud, Aerith and Barret, as the latter two are both long range, meaning I had the space required to think and assess the battlefield...and I needed that to win. It was also much easier to defeat enemies hanging on walls or flying around with Barret's gun or Aerith's magic. Close combat just lead to my characters dying over and over again.

Later in the game, boss battles became less enjoyable for me as I felt like I was never strong enough, and it seemed there were very few places to level up and grind. It's strange because I could have ran up and down the collapsed expressway if I wanted to gain some experience, and I did do that a couple of times, but because there was no after-battle summary screen of XP bars, GIL earnt, items found or even fanfare, I didn't feel like I got stronger. I missed feeling a little bit over-powered from time-to-time. Returning to earlier parts of the game never felt significantly easier as they always do in old FF titles. Cloud's sword seemed to constantly clash against metal, rather than cutting through it, and this reduced my enjoyment. Overall, the battle system is more fun than the original game, but it felt less balanced. I think enemies could have done with a little less HP and a little more recoil from your attacks. I loved fighting Hell House, though! Kudos to Square Enix for keeping this silliness in.

Picture
Remake's music was generally beautiful and enjoyable, though old tracks were occasionally used in bizarre places that didn't quite work. I mentioned FF7's main theme in the Sector 7 slums, but another stand out was Wall Market's iconic theme removed and used as a battle theme. It made a banging tune, which I enjoyed tremendously, but I missed hearing it in Wall Market itself. Instead, it is replaced with a new repetitive track that I quickly grew tired of. Sometimes, themes were remixed with others, and whilst it sort of worked, it felt overblown and unnecessary at times. Jenova's battle theme, from near the end of the game, is incredible but the small addition of One-Winged Angel felt cheesy to me. There are also songs you can buy and play in jukeboxes around Midgar which contain new mixes of beloved songs from the original game. Remake also welcomed some great new songs (Hollow Skies and Midnight Rendezvous) and there is plenty of entertainment to be found in the soundtrack alone, as the entire OST is over 8 hours long, which is insane.

I've spoken about dialogue, characters, combat and music, so let's move onto the story. As with FF7, Remake starts with the opening bombing mission. This is where Cloud meets Avalanche and has his first "seizure". Once the squad is above ground, we spend some time on the plate and see what life is like up there. We meet Aerith, but things do not play out the same as they do in FF7: Sephiroth shows up, as do these black ghosts (which I'll call "dementors" for now) and I screamed "What the hell is this Harry Potter shit doing here?!" (FYI I like Harry Potter, but there's a time and place). Meeting Aerith was originally brief and seemingly insignificant, which was excellent because you didn't know her yet, though something about her seemed remarkable. Remake, however, deals with this and similar scenes with its prior knowledge i.e. Aerith is one of the most iconic video game characters ever so meeting her needs to be a big deal.

SOME MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD

These approaches set you up for what Remake really is: a follow up to FF7, Advent Children and Crisis Core. Despite posing as a remake for the first 35 hours, hints of these changes – the dementors – are scattered all the way through, appearing where they shouldn't, and annoyingly pissing me off every time. It was only near the end of the game when I understood what they were about – when Red XIII tells you they're "whispers" – otherwise, I was just confused every time I saw them. It seems Square Enix missed the "show, don't tell" memo (though, I'd like to replay Remake to see if it was just me being dumb).

END OF MAJOR SPOILERS (FOR NOW), MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD

Many extra story beats were added in Remake. Before the second bombing mission, there's a motorcycle chase with the Avalanche gang, a run-in with a SOLDIER (who looks like he's straight out of Kingdom Hearts) and a cute meal shared with Jessie's family. I really enjoyed Biggs, Wedge and Jessie here and, considering how little time you spend with them in FF7, they did a great job fleshing them all out, even physically (hello Biggs). Jessie always had a crush on Cloud and in Remake they do not shy away from this fact. Surprisingly, I actually enjoyed this as it expanded on the original.
Picture
Can I just stay here?
Most of what I loved in Remake were these kind of expansions: When you meet Aerith, you pick flowers in her garden and deliver them to the local orphanage. When you sit in the play park outside Wall Market, you can actually slide down the slide. When you visit Wall Market, you can step into all the shops loved in the original, and they even have Moogle lucky cats! These moments filled me with joy and felt like a faithful adaptation of the original game, not Advent Children or Crisis Core. They even kept the humour and silliness of the original, particularly in Wall Market with the street thugs, Honey Bee Inn and suggestive massage scene. I could feel my icy shell begin to thaw out and I wanted to play more and more.
Picture
Picture
However, Wall Market underwent many changes. I mentioned music and puzzles already, but the whole quest to dress Cloud up as a woman had changed significantly. Now, you need approval from three new characters who get to decide who is sent to Don Corneo's mansion to become his bride. You aren't left to figure out anything anymore, like how to source the dress and convince the dress-maker to go back into business. The Honeybee Inn is no longer optional, either. When you visit, the whole makeover is pretty much done for you. Then, you have to prove your worth in the new colosseum – yup, still more fighting. From screenshots and articles I'd seen about this part of the game, I thought it was going to be spectacular. Visually, I suppose it was; It was very reminiscent of Majima's cabaret club in Yakuza 0 (which I love) but other than a dancing mini-game you can never play again, there wasn't as much fun to be had here as I'd hoped.

Corneo's mansion itself didn't quite have the same impact it once did...Cloud and Aerith get gassed on entry for some reason, yet it changes nothing, though at this point, I can hear myself nit-picking! There was a funny moment where Tifa realises Cloud is in drag and he says "Nailed it, I know. Thank you. Moving on." and it seemed like the original game's Cloud was back! Afterwards, the group get dropped into the sewers and you spend many hours fighting your way out and through the train graveyard. This part was always a slog in the original game, but it's dragged out even more here. More strange story scenes are added, and the dementors show up again for unclear reasons.
Picture
Once out, we see the plate is going to be dropped above Sector 7. We rush to Avalanche's aid, and since we spent more time with them, their deaths were actually quite upsetting this time around...Although, not to sound heartless, but feeling sad for these guys wasn't really what FF7's story was about. Cloud simply does his job and shrugs death off at this stage of the original story. Only when Aerith dies, does he truly understand what loss is.

Anyway, Aerith gets taken away by the turks soon after and Cloud and Co want to rescue her. The momentum you feel during this stage in FF7 is fired with anger and passion. In Remake, you return to Don Corneo's sewers, fight the same boss again, spend time chasing its spawn all around the place, then hear a lame story about a new, boring, straight-outta-Kingdom Hearts character, full of cheesy tropes and adding absolutely nothing of value. It's here I started to dislike Remake again. It's the "Nomura" effect.

When you do eventually climb up to the plate, it's a fully fleshed out "dungeon" and takes plenty of time. Again, this added to the scale of Midgar and I didn't mind it, although, again, puzzles were replaced with combat.

Arriving at Shinra Headquarters feels pretty cool, although, as many hours had passed since Aerith was taken away, you have to try and remind yourself why you're there. Walking into the place, there is absolutely no-one around. The funny Barret moments of him running in, shooting and threatening everyone were gone. As I mentioned earlier, I can see why they decided to change this, but it didn't stop the HQ from feeling oddly empty.

I took the stairs to reach the top of the building and I'm so glad I did as the banter was hilarious. Barret acts like a little kid, and I found myself warming to him so much more by the end of it. Once at floor 60, there are a few keycard puzzles, though way less than the original game. There was no sneaking around the air vents to win rare items or library mini-games. However, we got given a Shinra tour and learnt all about the company instead. It was nice to see their cars, advertisements and mission objectives in a little more detail. My favourite part was the 4D cinema experience where Shinra introduces the ancients and the promised land...It was making me fall for Remake again.

Once on floor 65, after spying on the executives meeting, you do not need to do anymore puzzles for keycards. It's straight into Hojo's lab, reuniting with Aerith and meeting Red XIII.

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD (Seriously, if you haven't played Remake and want to, I would stop reading here.)

Hojo's idea of breeding the two is no longer here as it's another odd story beat from the original which wouldn't work with Remake's realism. Still, it changes the scene and makes meeting Red XIII feel a little pointless. Introducing him at the end of the game also meant that he is not playable, though he helps a little in battle.

Then, instead of getting imprisoned as in the original, the party run around fighting for Hojo's "experiments". I won't lie, it felt like a lame excuse to pad out the game with even more fighting, especially since you're stuck in the drum for what felt like hours afterwards. The prison down time, chatting to the characters and getting to know them a little more, is now replaced by visiting Aerith's childhood bedroom. I enjoyed seeing this, but I really missed waking up in the night to see the trail of blood leading out of the open prison door. FF7 was ocassionally scary and I loved it for this. In comparison, Remake's trail of blood isn't even red, nor does the music play until you're right outside President Shinra's office...And guess what? He's not even dead.

This is when Remake starts really getting weird, and the whispers return to flood the building. Red XIII had just described them as "arbiters of fate", meaning they force fate to run on its intended path i.e. the original game's story. "OH! That's what they are!" I realised. So whenever the whispers had shown up in the past, it meant that they were forcing the original game to play out exactly as before. That's why they push Wedge out of the building and kill him soon after. Okay...but why now? And why didn't they show up every time there was a deviation from the original?

Sephiroth also appears in the President's office (because he's got nothing better to do than torment Cloud these days, it seems) and actually stabs Barret in the chest! "NOOO!" I screamed, as I'd come to love him even more than in the original game, but after a random fight with Jenova, the whispers bring him back to life, showing that this is not how this plays out. "Are they the fans expecting things to be just so?" Whilst I applaud Remake for trying to be so bold, it adds drama for stupid reasons: Why show Barret die only to bring him back a few minutes later? It's to show that the REAL story of Remake is these characters wanting to define their own fates, not, y'know, the actual story of FF7 we loved. It's like my final year University project all over again (I've taken it off YouTube because the standard does not live up to my work today, but it was an animation about a video game character who became self-aware and wished to oppose his fate and escape the world of the game). I understand that meta seems cool and edgy and is in vogue, but it doesn't automatically make for a good story. I'd argue that meta is something us video game designers feel the need to get out of our system when we're young and anti-establishment. I don't feel it belongs in FF7. Besides, Remake differed from the original a lot already, so why didn't they just run with that and remove all the whisper nonsense? The result would have been a better game.
Picture
A clip from my final year animation project of a game protagonist trying to escape their fate. Funnily, Sephiroth, Red XIII and Squall are present!
Things only spiral downwards from here. Whilst the motorcycle chase and Rufus battle were fine, I guess, the game does not end when you reach the end of the highway. The whispers amass, showing the characters their fates (video clips from Advent Children), and despite saving the world and letting nature reclaim Midgar, they collectively decide that's a crap future now and they don't want it. Um....what?! Holy and the lifestream saved Midgar from meteor, and despite Aerith's death, it all went pretty well. FF7 is a bittersweet ending, but Remake decides it's terrible so we're supposed to feel motivated to fight the arbiters of fate before finally facing Sephiroth, who's there for no other reason but fan service. It's kind this kind of irony that seems to go completely over Remake's head: They wish to create a new story but bring Sephiroth in over and over and over again like they did with AC (seriously, he shows up enough to make a drinking game out of it). Again, because he's a beloved, iconic character, even the developers have forgotten Sephiroth isn't the real bad guy in FF7.

I enjoyed some of the changes and expansions on FF7 in Remake, but if the whole "changing fate" premise is to add even more Sephiroth and have Aerith and Zack live (which I fear it is) it sadly doesn't sound good to me – It sounds like more Nomura fan service, and yet if they don't kill Aerith off in Remake's follow-up, 
EVERYONE will talk about it – A good marketing stunt, but does it make for a good story?

Pretty much everything I disliked in Remake was like Kingdom Hearts bullshit...Basically, Nomura. Now, I love his work and original designs in FF7 and FF8, but I think giving him this much freedom to do whatever he wants is what's ruining these games. I believe he's talented if he's tamed, but I get the impression no-one had the energy to push back against him with Remake (or even wanted to). Kitase even admitted to unofficially making Nomura the director.

PictureImagine seeing this with no context.
I'm sure you can tell, I'm full of mixed feelings regarding Final Fantasy 7 Remake. I think creators should only take fan/ player feedback where it makes sense and keep maintain their creative freedom, but changing the ending of an already-established game, right at the end of it, almost makes all those hours leading up to it a big troll for loyal fans (and is probably sucky for newcomers, too). Considering my feelings leading up to Remake's launch, it was incredible that I actually warmed up to it and enjoyed the fleshed out parts of the game. To have these turned around on me by the end...I just feel confused about everything regarding this game. As a game developer myself, I understand Square Enix's perspective: They had a vision and didn't want to compromise on it to make what the fans think they wanted. Still, the best moments were when the developers were creative in exciting yet subtle ways, fleshing out Midgar and adding background to the characters. It's as though Remake was trying to be two things: a faithful remake and a meta game about remakes.

Remake ends where the original game truly begins. It shouldn't be an ending to the original story, only the start of it...but, in actuality, it's now an ending. They say it's about the journey and not the ending, so it shouldn't change how I enjoyed parts of the game leading up to it but, looking back, it has. What's the point of certain things happening if this is the real story? I just don't know.

The weirdest part of this is people playing this without ever touching FF7 before. For the first 35 hours, I didn't think it mattered and would have happily recommended it to newcomers but I can't say this since the ending. It must make so little sense, and again, I'm worried it'll leave a sour taste in player's mouths. FF7 is about saving the planet and the philosophy of life, but since Remake doesn't get that far, new players will think it's about this Sephiroth guy causing headaches with the spikey-haired jerk, who's just fed-up and emo...and there's a random cat...and then they fight their fate for some reason...Did they all just want Barret to die after all, is that it? Ultimately, Remake has been fighting with itself over what it wants to be. I just hope people will decide to check out the original and not forget it exists. Like remakes of beloved films, I believe FF7 is still an important piece of gaming history and shouldn't be forgotten.

Still, I did enjoy my time with Remake and felt sad when it was over, though nothing close to how I felt defeating FF7 22 years ago. As I mentioned earlier, I want to replay Remake when the dust has settled (and a photo mode is added!) but the ending has left a bitter taste in my mouth. I guess my feelings will decide where they want to land once we know what's in store for the rest of the remakes, if there will even be any. Remake's ending could very easily be the story they've just shown, since the characters have freed themselves from the arbiters of fate (and Sephiroth even got beat up). Why do they need to return then? Are Jenova and Hojo really such a great threat anymore? Whilst Square Enix have set themselves up to do whatever they want after Remake, doing so doesn't make much sense anymore. What's the point? It's done.

For me, the saddest thing is that even I grew to love parts of Remake and found myself thinking "They've only gone and pulled it off!", which I would've never thought. Yet, doing a simple remake wasn't the whole team's goal...It's not very "Final Fantasy" to make something as uncreative as a direct remake, which is why I can't be too mad at the ending...BUT THERE WAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL! I honestly believe it could've been an astonishing game if it stayed closer to the original work. No more Nomura, that's what I say! *SHAKES FIST AT CLOUD*

​Despite what you may think of my slightly negative review, I'm happy that Remake exists and everyone is talking about FF7. Even those who don't plan to play Remake at all are revisiting the world of FF7 right now and admiring just how amazing it is. Young me would be chuffed that I've found so many people who love this game as much as me. My real wish was to find connections to people who loved this game like I do, and thanks to Remake, I have.

...Also, I would die for Moogle kid. Just sayin'.

Picture

Hey, if you've read this far, thank you! Most of my free time for the last month has been spent writing all this hahaha... Then I saw Dunky's FF7 Remake review and realised we pretty much share the same opinions (apart from Jessie). Check it out, it's very funny:
I hope lockdown is going okay for you and you and your families and happy and healthy. It's a tough time for us all but I believe we will get through it if we are patient and kind to ourselves and others.

Game development is steadily coming along, though it has been tough to focus some days recently. Hopefully, I will have a lot of stuff to show you real soon! Until then, stay home, stay safe and maybe give FF7 Remake a play ;-)

An update during this difficult time

4/4/2020

 
Hello everyone. I just wanted to update you all on Memories' (working title) development during this difficult time. Firstly, myself and my family are doing well: Goro is still getting his daily walks, my husband now works at home (making my daily life a little less lonely) and my routine is pretty much unaffected. Actually, I'm probably doing better with someone else around as it's helping my productivity and I find myself working longer hours than I did before. Of course, some days it's difficult to focus...but we're in a crisis and I'm not going to beat myself up over getting distracted by the news and panicking for a couple of hours a week.

I got married in the beginning of March (yay!) and had my birthday last Sunday (hurray!)...and it's been weird trying to be happy when it feels like everything is up in flames around you, but I believe we can still find happiness in times of darkness and we should try to keep our moods up now more than ever. Also, Animal Crossing helps!

However, I know many people are in much less fortunate positions than I am right now, which is why I'm offering One Night Stand for free on PC, Mac and Linux for those who're experiencing financial difficulties. Just write me an email or contact me on Twitter or Facebook and I'll send you a key. It's not much but it's something. I believe we all have to try and help each other however we can right now, even if that's just by staying home.

Anyway, since returning from my wedding, Memories has come a long way. Christmas, New Year, trips home, bureaucracy and wedding planning slowed me down the first two months of the year, but now I'm plowing through tasks like the Plow King shovels snow. I finally set my Trello board to good use and got it working for myself. I've made lists of jobs for each area of the game: programming, memory artwork, present day artwork, sound effects, editing tasks etc. I was finding myself lost every Monday morning, unsure of what to tackle each week, whilst now I can see everything clearly and bash on with it. I've done so much present day exploration artwork recently so I'd like to share some with you:
Picture
Gotta have fake game magazines!
Picture
Picture
Picture
Finding old photographs.
Picture
The treehouse filled with memories.
Note: These are in development and subject to edits.

Programming and UI are coming along nicely too: I've recently added some jigsaw puzzle-like games, keypad locks, button hovers and screen pans. Sound and music is a little behind, but I'm slowly adding sound effects on the more-finished scenes. Also, most of the new artwork I've drawn is in and working too.

Next up is finishing the exploration artwork and implementing it all – Seriously, you can search for so much stuff in this game, it's crazy! – followed by more sound effects, ongoing editing and programming. There are a few memories left than need artwork too, so once the next round of edits is done, I'll be starting that, wrapping up almost all of the remaining artwork!

It's still a few months away from being completed, but Memories is coming along nicely. I really hope I can continue this productivity whilst we're in lockdown and get the game out before Autumn hits! That's my goal but this is game development and she tends to have different plans ;-)

Everyone, thank you for reading this post! Please take care and check in with loved ones during this difficult time. Remember to stay inside and stay safe! I'll be back with more updates as I get closer to finishing the game soon! Until then!

What I enjoyed in 2019 - part 2

1/9/2020

 
Well, we're a week into 2020 now so it's about time I finished my list. I hope you get the chance to check out some of my recommendations!

Eliza

Ahh, I loved this game! Eliza (named after the natural language conversation program created at MIT's AI laboratory) is a visual novel by Zachtronics about an AI counselling program, the people who use it and the people who develop it.

You play as Evelyn, who's reconnecting with old colleagues and studying Eliza in practice. There are many choices about the morality of the program and how it should be used in future. It's harrowing on one hand, but hopeful on the other. The story is enjoyable and well written, enhanced by its perfect voice acting. (And, whilst writing this blog post, Eliza has also been nominated for two IGF awards, including the grand prize!)
Picture
(Spoilers ahead)

At the end of the game, you're given a bunch of final choices; meaning your choices until then didn't really matter that much. This kind of thing usually annoys me, but with Eliza, I felt the choices I'd made until then helped me gain enough information to make my final choice. It was well balanced and, because I was satisfied with my ending, I finished Eliza happy. As you know, I loved Life is Strange 2, though I felt every ending was cruel one way or another. Eliza wasn't like that (well, at least my ending wasn't) but it wasn't pandering to the audience either: There were a ton of choices, none of them a perfect solution, but it still felt like real life, albeit without hopelessness. Eliza reminded me of my favourite narrative games, where how you play reveals a little about your personality. I'd love to find out which endings other people chose!


​Laid Back Camp

PictureCup noodle stocks soar!
I'm not going to lie...I hated the look of Laid Back Camp at first. So much so that, despite being interested in the premise, I skipped it when it came out. I hate the moe art style (where every character looks 13 years old and has the same face)! However, I was just too interested in the concept, especially after I found out that Shiba-Inus make a regular appearance, so I gave it a watch.

I'm so glad I did! It's one of the best anime I've seen. It's quiet, peaceful and down-to-earth. Nothing much happens: There's no peril, enemies or anything like that – Just a group of girls who enjoy camping and learning together. It's so relaxing and atmosphetic that you feel like you're there with them. Now, I really want to go camping in Japan, where I can wake up and gaze upon Mt Fuji whilst eating cup noodles!

By the end of the series, the solitary protagonist, Rin, camps with the group and learns the joys of camping with others, BUT she doesn't quit camping on her own from time to time either. Her character wasn't compromised to push the trope "it's always better with friends!", which is kind of shitty when you're an introvert who needs to spend time on their own. Instead, it felt like Rin was accepted for who she is, but that she now has a friends to enjoy camping with sometimes as well. I loved the message and, as I've written this post, Room Camp (the anime short to Laid Back Camp) has just released! I look forward to seeing what it's all about.

A quick shout out to the music, which I adored so much I bought a ukulele! I can kind of play "Solo Camp", just about:


​booksmart

Picture
Booksmart was a great film. It's one of those I wished had come out when I was younger and nearer to the protagonists' ages, but better late than never! Watching it in the cinema was a rare moment where I looked up and felt myself represented on the screen, which will always strike a cord since it happens infrequently.

Pitched as "Superbad but for teenage girls", I went in not expecting much, though I heard from others it was amazing so I was excited to find out for myself. I didn't enjoy Superbad, but perhaps that was because it was just another bunch of dudes? Who knew that swapping the geek boys for nerd girls would make such a better movie? I walked out of the cinema with a huge smile on my face. Who knew women could be funny? (Yes, that's sarcasm.) Booksmart was so much fun and no other movie came close to the joy I felt watching this.

Fire Emblem: Three Houses

PictureI did a fan art of Claude!
Oof...I don't know where to start with Fire Emblem: Three Houses. It is a huge game and my favourite of last year! I'll try and keep this post short...

I guess I'll start with the house I chose first: Golden Deer. For some reason, during the weeks leading up to release, I was stressing out about who to pick! My fiancé picked my first choice (Blue Lions) but we wanted to see how the routes differed...So I considered GD but assumed that was the hardcore route. I wasn't as interested in Black Eagles, either, and...Edelgard... *stares daggers at her*

(Spoilers ahead)

Claude won me over with his speech at the beginning as he did for many. To me, GD was the overall story route: You find out the most about the world, Byleth, Sothis, Rhea and "those who sliver in the dark". That's not to say the other routes are pointless; rather they tend to focus on more human matters. My second playthrough was with the Blue Lions, and the story focussed on Dimitri's revenge wish and redemption. As much as I loved Claude, Dimitri was my favourite character...He was so interesting to follow and watch grow. However, both voice actors did a tremendous job. Chris Hackney (Dimitri) plays the wonderful, soft, princely Dimitri perfectly, and the crazed, bloodthirsty Dimitri, well, perfectly. Joe Zieja (Claude) does a brilliant job too, as both serious and jokey Claude – It's clear he absolutely loved his role.

Now then, I'm pretty biased, aren't I? I haven't played Black Eagles yet. However, since my BL playthrough, I'm intrigued to find out what Edelgard's deal is. I've already spent over 140 hours on Three Houses and I'm looking forward to getting back into it, but there are some parts of the game that drag for me...In particular, the monastery part.

The first time I played Three Houses, I love the monastery life sim/ social link aspects. It borrows from games like Persona and adds those elements to the Fire Emblem series, which works surprisingly well. However, when the first half of the game contains pretty much the exact same content no matter which route you're on, it gets pretty boring on a second playthrough. The same items are lost, fish still need to be caught, flowers grown etc. Of course, there is an option to skip this, and there's new game+, too (where you can use points to speed up the process), but still, your party will be weaker if you skip and don't spend any time here. (I wanna get all the characters and ship them, so...)

Three Houses doesn't have the same dating mechanic as Awakening or Fates, but it's not necessarily a bad thing. There are so many characters, I just enjoyed watching their support conversations, which I doubt I'll ever fully see as there are just too many options! For my first playthrough, I romanced Claude (as many did) and, on my second, I was gunning for Dimitri, but when I saw his and Marianne's support, I just had to ship them! I gave him up for her because Marianne is precious and they both seemed like they understood each other (Please, give me a medal for my sacrifice!). I recruited Ignatz and dated him instead, correcting my mistake from my first playthrough (damn you, flirty Claude!). However, Ignatz is so much like me, it was like dating myself which was weird.

Apart from Byleth (the silent protagonist), the characters in Three Houses were all really good. I feel like everyone is like someone in that game. I'm like a venn diagram of Ignatz, Bernadetta, Marianne and Ingrid. I loved Dorothea, Dedue, Ashe, Raphael, Hilda, Cyril, as well. I hated Lorenz and Sylvain for being such flirts, but they both made me laugh a lot, too. The support conversation between female Byleth and Lorenz is one of my favourites: "Yes, there have been very many real complaints made against you from the female students!" And she has to keep repeating this fact because Lorenz can't fathom why the girls wouldn't find him charming. Haha!

Fire Emblem: Three Houses wasn't just downright fun and I can't wait until the time is right to play the final Black Eagles house!


Better Call Saul

Picture
Better Call Saul is incredible. I'm not the biggest Breaking Bad fan; though I respect the show, it's not particularly entertaining for me, but Better Call Saul mostly ditches the gritty drug story for a courtroom drama. Of course, it's an origin story for Saul Goodman from Breaking Bad, so crimes and naughtiness are afoot, but the focus is on Saul (known at this point as Jimmy) and his relationship with his older brother, Chuck, and friend/partner, Kim.

Since it's a spin-off, I put off watching Better Call Saul for years...but when I watched the first episode, I couldn't stop. I said Fleabag was my favourite show of the year, but I'm tempted to say this was, too – It's just so intense! For me, this is mainly down to the acting. Bob Odenkirk is amazing in this show and I was stunned watching him express so many emotions throughout. I empathised with him many times throughout and loved his character even more. Everyone's favourite, Mike (Jonathan Banks), also returns, and new characters (Kim especially) were really fleshed out and just as likeable as the established ones. I enjoyed Jimmy and Kim's relationship as it's not the stereotypical heterosexual relationship: They both put business first and maintain their own sense of independence, which I relate to.

Better Call Saul is full of exciting twists and turns and I can't wait until season 5 comes out later this year. Don't sleep on this show like I did!


​My Roommate is a Cat

Picture
My Roommate is a Cat is an accurate depiction of my everyday working life with Goro. Simply replace the word cat with dog and author to indie dev and it's me.

The protagonist, Mikazuki Subaru, is socially anxious and lives alone. He struggles with any relationships and likes to close himself off from the outside world, but a little cat who was dumped by humans comes into his life. This cat is tough and learned to look after herself, so from both angles, there are characters trying to form a relationship with each other.

Caring for a pet, when you've only needed to think about yourself most of your life, comes as a shock. I had pets when I was younger, but I had a 15 year petless gap before I got Goro...Plus, I'd never ever had a dog before. I spent months trying to adjust, sometimes despairing thinking that I couldn't manage him, but with time I coped. I slowly learnt that there's joy in looking after something other than yourself. Feeling needed.

These feelings are difficult when you're not only used to being petless, but used to being alone and are bad at socialising. Like Subaru, I have social anxiety. Sometimes, it's just easier to not see anyone and recluse...I totally get where he's coming from. Plus, he wants/needs to work on his writing but keep getting distracted and stressed by the little cat that needs him. I totally relate! It takes time to adjust, but I'm so glad we both did.


Our Dreams at Dusk

Our Dreams at Dusk focuses around Tasuku Kaname, a gay teenager who has just been outed for having gay porn on his phone. He's about to commit suicide, when he sees a woman jump from a building on a cliff edge. When he discovers the building, the woman is there unharmed. It turns out the building is a drop-in center for LGBT people, who renovate houses in the town. Through them, he slowly learns to accept his sexuality.

Our Dreams at Dusk is beautifully drawn and serious in tone. Whilst there is value in light-hearted gay stories, like Yuri on Ice!! and Steven Universe, being LGBT comes with challenges which should be discussed as well. I imagine this manga will really help those who're struggling to feel accepted in the world.
Picture
(Spoilers ahead)

Kaname's crush, Tachibana, also seems to be struggling with accepting LGBT people in the world. He's almost the antagonist of the series, presenting as straight at the beginning, but warming to Kaname over the chapters. You see that the negativity comes from his father, who is homophobic and sees LGBT people as "them". I haven't read the last book, but I'm concerned for Kaname as Tachibana is holding in some serious anger about Kaname being gay, and perhaps even himself.

What I love most about ODaD, is the supporting characters back-stories. Each volume tends to focus on one particular character, my favourite being Utsumi, who is later revealed to be a trans man. It came as a surprise, as Utsumi has been so cool and masculine up until this point, no-one would think otherwise. It was a real eye-opener for me because the reader already accepts Utsumi for who he is by the time they learn this. Looking back at his past felt somewhat irrelevant, but well-wishers brought it back up, pitying him for having an "illness". One well-wisher, in particular, forces the gender binary on her daughter who isn't interested in painting flowers and looks pained every time something like this happens. In a brief encounter, the group show her she can express herself how she wants and that it's okay. It's not much, but she leaves with a small understand that everything mummy says isn't true.

ODaD shows us the difficulties that LGBT people face. Because of that, some people aren't going to like it, but I loved it's harsh realism. There are so many stories out there, it's about time we heard from people who've had to give up everything just to be themselves.


​KUUKIYOMI: Consider it!

Picture
​KUUKIYOMI is a relatively short ​game, with options to play co-op. You play quick scenes (WarioWare style) where you have to consider the right thing to do. There are over 100 scenarios: Some are everyday things, like moving aside to let people sit down, whilst others are hilarious or downright cruel! I don't want to spoil them, but I was speechless for a few of them...How could the developers even go there?

For the short time I spent with KUUKIYOMI, I left feeling inspired. It makes a game out of social cues in such a simple, smart way. I'd love to make a game like it one day!

KUUKIYOMI is short and cheap, so you should pick it up yourself and give it a go!


​How not to be a boy

Picture
How not to be a Boy is a funny autobiography by Robert Webb, yet it also questions the harmful sides of masculinity; how rules such as "drink beer", "don't cry" and "love sport" don't bring anything positive to society. He takes us through his own childhood and adolescence, describing the pressures he felt to not be who he really was (Hmm, I'm being to see a theme with my list this year...). It's something I relate to a lot, being a woman interested in "typically male" fields such as video games, programming, having my own business etc. I have struggled and continue to struggle with pressures to conform to the gender binary and become what is expected of a typical woman. Well, Webb and I say screw that!
​
I enjoyed reading every page of How not to be a Boy. It's hilarious but also heartbreaking. Truth be told, I'm not much of a Peep Show fan, but now I really like Webb; He's brutally honest and open but, above all, a brilliant story-teller. I wish I had the memory and skill to recount my past the way he did. Reading through, I could see the flip-side of the struggles I faced whilst growing up and, really, what is it for?


O Maidens of Your savage Season

PictureUm...What did I walk in on?
I literally saw one tweet with screenshots from this show and was sold. O Maidens of Your Savage Season is an anime series based on its manga. The show is about a group of school girls in the literature club, and I know what you're thinking: "Yawn. School anime". The thing is, O Maidens is actually the most realistic school anime I've seen. We follow the girls and their different grips on puberty and sexuality. First, there's Kazusa (the protagonist): A romantic but somewhat shy or unsure about sex, maybe even on the asexual spectrum. Then there's Niina, who was harassed as a child (groomed, even) and isn't particularly interested in boys, until she falls for Izumi. Izumi is Kazusa's childhood friend (and crush) and they both start noticing the differences between their bodies as they grow up. Momoko is another girl in the club who feels confused as she has a crush on Niina and wonders if she is lesbian. Hitoha writes erotic novels but is told by her publisher that her stories sound like they're written by a 40 year old male virgin, so she desires life experience, meeting up with a guy from an online chatroom. Rika is the club president and very uptight about sex because of her upbringing, but cannot deny how she feels about boys.

As a woman, I feel as though each of these stories has something to offer a female audience. Like Booksmart, I felt represented. Whenever a shoujo high school anime attempts to discuss sex, it's always too innocent and romantic, where sex is barely even mentioned, or, if it's shonen, it's more sexual and almost pornographic. This is worrying as, if parents and friends aren't talking to teenagers about sex, then they are clueless when it happens to them. It's part of the reason I made One Night Stand: We're in dire need of more realistic stories about sex.

Whilst sometimes handled problematically, O Maidens is still valuable. I wish it had come out when I was the age of the protagonists. Puberty is such a confusing time and it's, like, the biggest thing in your life that no-one's talking about! If you're female and lucky, you get taught sex-education (periods, how pregnancy happens etc) but you probably won't get taught anything about sexuality. This show went there, plus the animation was beautiful. It's a shame I've not seen anyone else talk about O Maidens.


​Shibuya Scramble

PictureAnother fan art! I loved Achi and Hitomi!
I nearly forget Shibuya Scramble, which was actually one of my most enjoyable gaming experiences of the year! It's because I played it earlier in the year and it was released on Steam and PS4 in 2018. Plus, it's initial, Japanese release was in 2008, too, but enough with my excuses...Let me tell you why I loved it so much!

SS is a visual novel with a few FMV scenes, but mainly static photographs. I don't think I've played a visual novel quite like it. It's like a series of 24 but with Japanese humour to soften the content. At first, SS feels weird and the game design is janky: You get multiple bad endings, and initially these make you want to give up, thinking you've done something wrong but once you realise this is just how the game works, you get into the swing of it and want to discover all the endings. There're 87 different endings, I believe, but the game's designed so you try again to get the true one. You can easily jump to the choices you made and alter them, too.

The music was superb. The acting, even though the game is mainly photographs, was great. The narration was hilariously Japanese, but so engaging I couldn't stop reading it. SS had it all: crime, war, romance, mascot suits, cleaning a toilet, you name it! You play an array of characters who start off not knowing each other. Achi Endo's story was exciting and romantic (hence my favourite), whilst Kenji Osawa's was dark, complex and sci-fi. Everyone is intertwined and it's hard to put the game down once you unlock the barriers.

After the main story is "finished", there are a bunch of extras, and I mean a bunch! I still haven't got them all, which I should rectify because I think I'm still missing out on the true, true ending...But there are loads of additional episodes for the side characters. Canaan's ending is anime styled, whilst Suzune's made me bawl my eyes out: It was an hour or so of visual novel's at their very best.

Shibuya Scramble requires a lot of reading. It's Japanese in tone and humour, but I still recommend it to everyone. Get into the swing of the game after 1-2 hours and I'm sure you'll have as much fun as I did!


I'm very grateful to all the creators who helped work on my favourites from last year! There were a ton more shows, books and games I enjoyed, but I had to draw the line somewhere! (Maybe I should do these lists a little more frequently? Hmm.) A quick shout out to Dreamwork's She-Ra, Tuca & Bertie, Sarazanmai, Shenmue 3, Carole & Tuesday, Hynospace Outlaw, Classmates (the manga) and Death Stranding. However, I'd also like to express my sympathies to Kyoto Animation, who tragically lost so many talented creators. Last year, I watched their film, Liz and the Blue Bird, at Nippon Connection and loved it. Before that, I was wowed by Violet Evergarden's stunning animation, and years prior, I particularly enjoyed Free! and Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid. Their attention to detail was second to none and I just cannot fathom why this tragedy happened.

Please look after and celebrate the creators you love! With that, let's move forward into 2020 with hope for the future.

Take care and I'll be back soon!

What I enjoyed in 2019 - Part 1

1/2/2020

 
It's that time again when I look back at the TV, films, games and books I've enjoyed over the last 12 months. 2019 has been the most trying year of my life, but I honestly feel stronger coming out the other side of it. I have high hopes that things will continue to improve throughout 2020 and life will get back on track!

Because it's been a tough one, this list is waaay longer than I anticipated so it comes in two parts! Note: South Korea bossed part 1!

Like last year, my list is not necessarily "What was new in 2019" – Rather, what was new to me. Warning: There are a few spoilers below but I've tried to mark them all so you can skip ahead if you want.

​Okay, let's begin...


Kind Words

Picture
This "game" came at a perfect time. The time we live is trying, we feel lonelier than ever despite being more connected than ever, mental health is at an all time low, and online communities are toxic places. But what if being connected online could actually help us instead? Kind Words achieves this almost effortlessly. When you load the "game" for the first time, you give your name but will only be referred to by your first initial from then on. You receive letters from other, actual humans who are struggling or wanting to share their positivity. You can reply, but only once, and they cannot reply back. They can send you a cute sticker and thanks, but that's it.

It sounds kinda disappointing, right? Anonymity and no way to stay in touch with someone who was kind to you...but that's why it works. People want to help when it suits them i.e. when they load the "game". They do not want to feel burdened or overwhelmed when someone continues requesting help. It's a one time only thing: Try and help, then move onto someone else you maybe able to help. It makes you really consider each word carefully (since there is a character limit) and not turn things sour. Sure, trolling could happen, but I haven't seen it. Trolls will never get any feedback or satisfaction from being mean in Kind Words, so they don't seem to bother. I believe if things go bad, you can report them, although, frankly, I don't understand who'd go to the effort of downloading Kind Words, listen to the chill lo-fi beats, and then be nasty. The "game" is designed for empathy, and I am amazed at some of the kind responses I've received to my own problems. It restores my faith in humanity.

I keep saying "game". It's not a game. Kind Words is so much more than that, but it is being sold on Steam...so I guess it's a game? There are collectable elements and things to work towards, but I see Kind Words more like a perfectly designed online forum: a place to visit once a day or a few times a week to enrich your life and the lives of others. I absolutely love it. Whenever I feel a little hopeless or useless or whatever, I go on Kind Words, maybe write my own problem, and then spend time trying to help others. It encourages empathy and love, which I then throw back at myself. 30 minutes or so later, I walk away feeling better. I can't say the same for the average dose of Twitter or Facebook.

I hope Kind Words becomes an app that's on every device; in the top corner, as important as your cloud save or schedule app. It deserves more than to be lumped with "video games" on Steam.


Blank Canvas: My so-called artist's journey

Blank Canvas is an autobiographical manga by Akiko Higashimura (Princess Jellyfish and Tokyo Tarareba Girls). She's quickly become by favourite mangaka, with Tokyo Tarareba Girls being one of my highlights from last year.

Blank Canvas starts when Akiko is in high school and trying to get into university. She's overly-confident and believes she can do anything, but reality comes crashing down when she meets an art tutor who straight up says her work "Sucks!", "They are all crap!" and "You ain't gettin' in anywhere with this junk!". He's introduced almost like a villain, but in Higashimura's style, these scenes are expressive, full of energy and hilarious. I laughed so much reading this book because it felt so true.

Higashimura looks back at her younger self as naive, silly, even stupid, and when she's back to present day, you can feel the heaviness of her regrets...so much, that these books brought me to full on tears several times. You can feel just how much she loved her sensei through her art, composition and words...Plus, the iconic tracksuit she wears now as her respect for him.

As we get older, we begin to regret the actions of our younger selves. I think that's something everyone feels one way or another, so reading Higashimura's autobiography, even if you aren't an artist, feels so real. Lost moments, opportunities, and even people can forever hold a place in our hearts.

(Spoilers ahead)

This scene from the end of book 2 destroys me. Something as simple as leaving a bottle of shochu can be so dramatic when story-telling is just right. Read bubbles right to left:
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture


​Night on the Galactic Railroad

Night on the Galactic Railroad, a Japanese animated film from 1985, is odd. It's not a particularly great film, but it mesmerised me for some reason. I felt like I was engulfed in some other world and I loved it for that.
Picture
I think part of how it grabbed me is how movies are today. Take Star Wars: Rise of the Skywalker, for example (no spoilers): I walked out saying "I felt like I was flicking through my Twitter feed. We went from one planet, to another, to another like it was nothing". Since when was travelling to planets "nothing"?! (Meanwhile, Akiko Higashimura made me feel the bottom of my soul because of a shochu bottle!) The original Star Wars trilogy would stay on one planet for a long time, establishing it, building atmosphere and showing us the inhabitants. However, the latest trilogy didn't seem to consider taking a pause every now and then to let us get to know a place...Night on the Galactic Railroad does pause, and it's wonderful because of it. Yeah, it's an incredibly slow, almost dull movie, but that almost comes as a surprise these days and was the reason it stuck with me. That and Kunihiko Ikuhara (my favourite anime director) was clearly inspired by it's surrealism as well.

The music is eerie and beautiful, the cinematography is stunning, and the ending is...Well, I won't go there but it got to me! Night on the Galactic Railroad is an old film: It's slow and confusing at times, but it left an impression on me that very few movies have done recently. If you like Ghibli and are tired of Disney, I recommend giving it a watch.


​Cheese in the Trap

Okay, I enjoyed this show perhaps for all the wrong reasons: I shipped Hong Seol and Baek In-ho HARD, like no other ship before!

The story is about Hong Seol, a university student who can see through her senior's (Yoo Jung) kind exterior. He is manipulative and uses his power and position to destroy the lives of anyone who crosses him. Seol also decides to date him. Whaaaat?!
Picture
(Spoilers ahead)

For some reason, Seol chooses to date the sociopath, Jung, instead of "bad" boy (good boy) In-ho
. Whilst it's great to see a sociopathic character trying to make himself better, his bullshit hurts Seol in too many, unforgivable ways...hospitalising her many times. What's worse, the couple barely laugh or smile together – Why the heck are they even together?! I just don't understand it! Meanwhile, In-ho protects her, comforts her, makes he laugh, plays piano with her, goes from homeless to hardworking and supports his god-awful sister who he should have ditched long ago. I get that you can't control who you love and what someone does for you does not equal love, but Seol and In-ho looked so happy together! Every scene with Seol and Jung was misery or arguing. Whenever they were close, it felt so forced. I guess she just dated him because he was there first? *shrugs*

Reading into the series' reception, apparently I am not alone. The series is based off a webtoon, which apparently treats In-ho as an after-thought, but in the series he shines, more so than Jung. I assume the director wanted who she ends up with to be a surprise but, to the viewer, it just doesn't make sense. Both actors for Baek In-ho (Seo Kang-joon) and Hong Seol (Kim Go-eun) had chemistry. For them alone, I enjoyed this show, but for everything else, it was frustrating as hell! Still, it lead me on to becoming a Seo Kang-joon fan-girl, so I sought out what else he's starred in, hoping he gets better treatment elsewhere... ​


​Are you human?

Which he did! Seo Kang-joon stars as the lead character/s in Are You Human? – A k-drama mixed with sci-fi and romance (two of my favourite genres!). I loved it, and Kang-joon played an amazing part as both robot Nam Shin III and human Nam Shin. I'm a sucker for shows or movies where an actor has to play two different roles as it's clear to see just how talented they are. (Yes, I told you I am a Seo Kang-joon fan girl now!)

From the off, it's clear this is a k-drama: It's light-hearted and silly at times, but surprisingly well-written with many twists and turns. Whenever I'd guess what'd happen next, it would literally happen in the next scene. The audience stays with it and is never thinking too far ahead or getting lost. That's not to say the show is predictable; many times it surprised me and went in directions I didn't expect, which is why I enjoyed it so much. It felt like we went on a real journey with so many characters: Everyone grew in one way or another.

You know me, though: I was watching mainly for the romance! Kang So-bong (Nam Shin's body guard) detests him at first, not realising he has been replaced by the robot Nam Shin III. Over time, you see her warming to the robot, still unaware that he is in fact a robot. I thought this would be where the story ends, but she discovers he's not human early on. The show never rests on the same old stories.

Over the episodes, Kang So-bong and Nam Shin III build a sweet relationship where they are both trying to understand one another. He becomes more and more human-like but she accepts that he is incapable of feeling the same way a human does. It's very cute and not too far from human-human relationships after all. I enjoyed this show a lot!
Picture
Picture
Shout out to the Nam Shin III's Roomba friend, who was my favourite C-list character!


​Life is Strange 2

PictureI did a fan art!
I actually had a dream about Life is Strange 2 last night...That's how much of an impact this game had on me! When I started the game last year, I was disappointed to find out we play as the older brother, Sean, who doesn't have any special powers. However, as the game progresses, we see just how much of a burden Sean has to take on to protect his younger brother, Daniel, and his powers. Daniel is 10 years old and doesn't quite understand or agree with everything going on around him. Not only are you navigating the crazy situation they find themselves in, you're also trying to raise him as a decent human being (at least, that's what I tried to do).

(Spoilers ahead)

Episode 3 felt like the weakest of all the episodes to me, and after I played it, I waited until 4 and 5 came out so I could play them both together. I guess I was too much of a big brother in episode 3; I went to bed early with Daniel and looked after him, instead of sleeping with Cassidy or kissing Finn...Two things I had no idea you could even do until I heard other people chat about it. So my poor Sean, who was only friends with Cassidy, left the camp a one-eyed virgin, which really skewed my decision of what to do in the last two episodes...

I'd gone from looking after Daniel and caring only for him to putting Sean first. He's only 16 himself and gone through so much shit to protect his brothers powers. The racist scene in episode 4 (where the guys force him to sing in Spanish) tore me apart. I flat out refused to do what they wanted and got beaten to a pulp for it, clearly playing like a typical white person who's never had to deal with this. Honestly, this scene was the strongest in the entire game for me. I really felt the racism and the frustration and injustice that comes with it.

At the end of episode 5, where you decide to push forward of give yourself up, I knew the right thing to do was to give yourself up...though, in my white privileged opinion, I would have done that from the start. Too much had happened since and we know that Sean is going to be in prison for a long time. The poor boy was just defending his brother and trying his best to get through an awful situation. I just couldn't give up at this point...too much had happened. So, I pushed forward and used Daniel's powers for myself (the only time in the game) but since Daniel was raised with morals, he jumped out of the car to be arrested by the police. The brothers never see each other again...and this still tears me up inside. It's what I dreamt about last night: What is Daniel doing locked inside his grandparents house? Will Sean ever see him again? Whilst it's sad, it made the most sense to me. Sean was finally free and Daniel, who had killed people and was dangerous, is kept under close watch.

Like Life is Strange 1, I quickly watched the other endings after completing the game, and yeah, I think I got the best ending for me. If I'd raised Daniel to be a shit, I would have gotten the "happiest" ending of the lot, but at what cost? If I'd played the game oppositely to what I did, Sean would've... Anyway, by episode 4 and 5, I really, really loved Sean. He went through so much and never stopped caring about Daniel. Maybe he made stupid decisions at times, but it never felt frustrating for the player: He's a teenager and learning about who he wants to be, too. He is his own character, but leaves enough player agency to make your choices matter. In what I found to be a year of soulless, silent protagonists, Sean Diaz was a refreshing change.


​Tangle Tower

Picture
Eeeee! I loved Tangle Tower! Although I wasn't part of the IGF jury this year, I took part in the judging and got to play a load of indie games. Tangle Tower was the standout to me and I hope it gets the recognition it deserves over the coming months.

I'm not really a murder-mystery fan, but within minutes, Tangle Tower had me hooked. The beautiful background art, music, fabuluous voice-acting and stunning character animations made the experience a delight and I couldn't put it down. The game itself was welcoming and eased you into how to play with a perfect tutorial and clear objective given in the first 15 minutes – Great!

I could honestly gush about the character animations for this whole post, but I won't as you can see how awesome they are yourself. I hadn't played any of the Detective Grimoire games before this, but the mechanics were clever and inspired me for Memories. Even the tip button was nicely implemented; I only used it once (when I was truly stuck) and I didn't feel dirty for doing so. Usually with point-and-clicks, I get stuck all the time, and it's a reason I don't play them as much as I'd like to, but Tangle Tower got it right.

I guess the only thing I wasn't too happy about was how quickly it ended. You know me, I don't have a problem with short games, but the beginning spent many hours investigating everything, whilst the ending got wrapped up in what felt like a few minutes. To me, it felt rushed and I wished I could've seen a few more hints towards the culprit leading up to the end...Though, I suppose murder-mysteries tend to reveal the truth only right at the very end.

I had so much fun with Tangle Tower and it was about 5-7 hours of playtime. I highly recommend it!


​Fleabag

Picture
Fleabag had been on my list for a while. I'd heard good things but just never got around to it. After the release of season 2, I thought it was finally time to watch it...

I still don't know how to describe Fleabag. It's a drama...about a woman...who runs a small business...in London. Most of the characters are awful people too, but they're fully human; warts and all. I guess what makes Fleabag so great is not what the show is about, but how the show is told. It's intimate and truthful, with Fleabag especially breaking the forth wall and talking to us directly about all her thoughts. It has the perfect balance of humour, love and tragedy.

I watched a lot of shows last year, but Fleabag was probably my favourite. It's perfectly executed and thoroughly entertaining. I already want to watch it again and am gutted I missed the stage show!


​Parasite

I wasn't sure if I'd enjoy Parasite when I saw that it featured heavy violence, but I'd heard good things and, since it's from South Korea, I decided to take the gamble. Whilst I turned away from the violence of last scene (with audio commentary from my fiancé), I couldn't look away for the rest of the film. I felt like I was watching a Hitchcock, except here the story just kept taking unexpected turns after unexpected turns.

I usually write these blog posts full of spoilers, but I don't want to do that for Parasite. It's best to just experience it yourself. I genuinely laughed out loud in the first half of the film and was in shock for the second half. I left the cinema feeling enriched: The morals of the story were on my mind for days afterwards, and it makes me look twice when I see poverty or desperation.
Picture

Join me soon for part 2!

​Happy new year everyone!

Memories returns!

12/10/2019

 
Whoa, it’s been over a year since I last updated you all on Memories' development! Apologies for going dark on it for so long; the year has been crazy with One Night Stand’s console launch and localisations, plus my own personal illness, but I’m through the thick of it now and pushing forward! Memories is really starting to come together and I’m very happy with how much I’ve achieved in the last couple of months.

To start, I’ve been updating all the memory artwork in the game so it animates in an inkblot style.

The old style is on the left and the new is on the right:

Picture
Picture
It's subtle, but the advantage of the animated style is the opportunity for lack of clarity i.e. when the protagonist's memories are most blurry, the fade can be more dramatic. The original gouache-like style on the left wasn’t able to convey that because it was too clean, so I've leant towards watercolour paints, which are pale, fluid and expressive.

Sometimes, I think doing this traditionally would have been easier! Digital paint brushes can be a pain, but I found that Procreate has some of the best out there, so all this new artwork has been done on my iPad. It’s taken a while, but last week I began drawing some new scenes, which was refreshing!

​Here's a look at some of them (stills):
Picture
Picture
Picture
I started on the non-memory/ present day artwork, too, to ensure both styles suited one-another. I was considering rotoscoping for a while, but it wouldn’t match the memory art style unless I rotoscoped that as well, and I’m just one person with limitations – I have to draw the line somewhere (hohoho).

​I still wanted the present day art artwork to look more realistic than the memories, so I decided to use direct photo reference instead:
Picture
Now, there is a clear distinction between what Millie remembers and how she is today, not just in colouring but also in how people are drawn.

Artwork aside, I’ve been editing the script and adding a few more puzzles to the game. It’s definitely more “gamey” and, with only a few different outcomes, more linear than One Night Stand. I estimate a playthrough will take a few hours, perfect for one or two good sessions of gaming!

My next plans are to continue editing and ensuring the puzzles work. Also UI. UI has been a mess for a while, so I want to fix it and wrap the whole game in a neat little package (cue Homer Simpson). Then, I'll be seeking out alpha testers who will finally be able to see what they're actually doing! There's also a little music and SFX in there too, exciting!

Obviously, there’s still much work to go, but over the next few months, I can see Memories getting wrapped up. I may even decide on a final name! I've narrowed down my shortlist so I will be picking one soon.

I plan on writing a “Best of 2019” post on here before the year is out, so I'll be back here before you know it. There's been a lot of inspirational and fun things this year which I want to share with you all.

​Happy holidays!
<<Previous
Forward>>

Copyright © 2015-2022 Kinmoku / Lucy Blundell. All rights reserved.