It's that time again when I look back at the TV, films, games and books I've enjoyed over the last 12 months. 2019 has been the most trying year of my life, but I honestly feel stronger coming out the other side of it. I have high hopes that things will continue to improve throughout 2020 and life will get back on track!

Because it's been a tough one, this list is waaay longer than I anticipated so it comes in two parts! Note: South Korea bossed part 1!

Like last year, my list is not necessarily "What was new in 2019" – Rather, what was new to me. Warning: There are a few spoilers below but I've tried to mark them all so you can skip ahead if you want.

​Okay, let's begin...

This "game" came at a perfect time. The time we live is trying, we feel lonelier than ever despite being more connected than ever, mental health is at an all time low, and online communities are toxic places. But what if being connected online could actually help us instead? Kind Words achieves this almost effortlessly. When you load the "game" for the first time, you give your name but will only be referred to by your first initial from then on. You receive letters from other, actual humans who are struggling or wanting to share their positivity. You can reply, but only once, and they cannot reply back. They can send you a cute sticker and thanks, but that's it.

It sounds kinda disappointing, right? Anonymity and no way to stay in touch with someone who was kind to you...but that's why it works. People want to help when it suits them i.e. when they load the "game". They do not want to feel burdened or overwhelmed when someone continues requesting help. It's a one time only thing: Try and help, then move onto someone else you maybe able to help. It makes you really consider each word carefully (since there is a character limit) and not turn things sour. Sure, trolling could happen, but I haven't seen it. Trolls will never get any feedback or satisfaction from being mean in Kind Words, so they don't seem to bother. I believe if things go bad, you can report them, although, frankly, I don't understand who'd go to the effort of downloading Kind Words, listen to the chill lo-fi beats, and then be nasty. The "game" is designed for empathy, and I am amazed at some of the kind responses I've received to my own problems. It restores my faith in humanity.

I keep saying "game". It's not a game. Kind Words is so much more than that, but it is being sold on Steam...so I guess it's a game? There are collectable elements and things to work towards, but I see Kind Words more like a perfectly designed online forum: a place to visit once a day or a few times a week to enrich your life and the lives of others. I absolutely love it. Whenever I feel a little hopeless or useless or whatever, I go on Kind Words, maybe write my own problem, and then spend time trying to help others. It encourages empathy and love, which I then throw back at myself. 30 minutes or so later, I walk away feeling better. I can't say the same for the average dose of Twitter or Facebook.

I hope Kind Words becomes an app that's on every device; in the top corner, as important as your cloud save or schedule app. It deserves more than to be lumped with "video games" on Steam.

Blank Canvas is an autobiographical manga by Akiko Higashimura (Princess Jellyfish and Tokyo Tarareba Girls). She's quickly become by favourite mangaka, with Tokyo Tarareba Girls being one of my highlights from last year.

Blank Canvas starts when Akiko is in high school and trying to get into university. She's overly-confident and believes she can do anything, but reality comes crashing down when she meets an art tutor who straight up says her work "Sucks!", "They are all crap!" and "You ain't gettin' in anywhere with this junk!". He's introduced almost like a villain, but in Higashimura's style, these scenes are expressive, full of energy and hilarious. I laughed so much reading this book because it felt so true.

Higashimura looks back at her younger self as naive, silly, even stupid, and when she's back to present day, you can feel the heaviness of her regrets...so much, that these books brought me to full on tears several times. You can feel just how much she loved her sensei through her art, composition and words...Plus, the iconic tracksuit she wears now as her respect for him.

As we get older, we begin to regret the actions of our younger selves. I think that's something everyone feels one way or another, so reading Higashimura's autobiography, even if you aren't an artist, feels so real. Lost moments, opportunities, and even people can forever hold a place in our hearts.

(Spoilers ahead)

This scene from the end of book 2 destroys me. Something as simple as leaving a bottle of shochu can be so dramatic when story-telling is just right. Read bubbles right to left:

Night on the Galactic Railroad, a Japanese animated film from 1985, is odd. It's not a particularly great film, but it mesmerised me for some reason. I felt like I was engulfed in some other world and I loved it for that.

I think part of how it grabbed me is how movies are today. Take Star Wars: Rise of the Skywalker, for example (no spoilers): I walked out saying "I felt like I was flicking through my Twitter feed. We went from one planet, to another, to another like it was nothing". Since when was travelling to planets "nothing"?! (Meanwhile, Akiko Higashimura made me feel the bottom of my soul because of a shochu bottle!) The original Star Wars trilogy would stay on one planet for a long time, establishing it, building atmosphere and showing us the inhabitants. However, the latest trilogy didn't seem to consider taking a pause every now and then to let us get to know a place...Night on the Galactic Railroad does pause, and it's wonderful because of it. Yeah, it's an incredibly slow, almost dull movie, but that almost comes as a surprise these days and was the reason it stuck with me. That and Kunihiko Ikuhara (my favourite anime director) was clearly inspired by it's surrealism as well.

The music is eerie and beautiful, the cinematography is stunning, and the ending is...Well, I won't go there but it got to me! Night on the Galactic Railroad is an old film: It's slow and confusing at times, but it left an impression on me that very few movies have done recently. If you like Ghibli and are tired of Disney, I recommend giving it a watch.

Okay, I enjoyed this show perhaps for all the wrong reasons: I shipped Hong Seol and Baek In-ho HARD, like no other ship before!

The story is about Hong Seol, a university student who can see through her senior's (Yoo Jung) kind exterior. He is manipulative and uses his power and position to destroy the lives of anyone who crosses him. Seol also decides to date him. Whaaaat?!

(Spoilers ahead)

For some reason, Seol chooses to date the sociopath, Jung, instead of "bad" boy (good boy) In-ho. Whilst it's great to see a sociopathic character trying to make himself better, his bullshit hurts Seol in too many, unforgivable ways...hospitalising her many times. What's worse, the couple barely laugh or smile together – Why the heck are they even together?! I just don't understand it! Meanwhile, In-ho protects her, comforts her, makes he laugh, plays piano with her, goes from homeless to hardworking and supports his god-awful sister who he should have ditched long ago. I get that you can't control who you love and what someone does for you does not equal love, but Seol and In-ho looked so happy together! Every scene with Seol and Jung was misery or arguing. Whenever they were close, it felt so forced. I guess she just dated him because he was there first? *shrugs*

Reading into the series' reception, apparently I am not alone. The series is based off a webtoon, which apparently treats In-ho as an after-thought, but in the series he shines, more so than Jung. I assume the director wanted who she ends up with to be a surprise but, to the viewer, it just doesn't make sense. Both actors for Baek In-ho (Seo Kang-joon) and Hong Seol (Kim Go-eun) had chemistry. For them alone, I enjoyed this show, but for everything else, it was frustrating as hell! Still, it lead me on to becoming a Seo Kang-joon fan-girl, so I sought out what else he's starred in, hoping he gets better treatment elsewhere... ​

I actually had a dream about Life is Strange 2 last night...That's how much of an impact this game had on me! When I started the game last year, I was disappointed to find out we play as the older brother, Sean, who doesn't have any special powers. However, as the game progresses, we see just how much of a burden Sean has to take on to protect his younger brother, Daniel, and his powers. Daniel is 10 years old and doesn't quite understand or agree with everything going on around him. Not only are you navigating the crazy situation they find themselves in, you're also trying to raise him as a decent human being (at least, that's what I tried to do).

(Spoilers ahead)

Episode 3 felt like the weakest of all the episodes to me, and after I played it, I waited until 4 and 5 came out so I could play them both together. I guess I was too much of a big brother in episode 3; I went to bed early with Daniel and looked after him, instead of sleeping with Cassidy or kissing Finn...Two things I had no idea you could even do until I heard other people chat about it. So my poor Sean, who was only friends with Cassidy, left the camp a one-eyed virgin, which really skewed my decision of what to do in the last two episodes...

I'd gone from looking after Daniel and caring only for him to putting Sean first. He's only 16 himself and gone through so much shit to protect his brothers powers. The racist scene in episode 4 (where the guys force him to sing in Spanish) tore me apart. I flat out refused to do what they wanted and got beaten to a pulp for it, clearly playing like a typical white person who's never had to deal with this. Honestly, this scene was the strongest in the entire game for me. I really felt the racism and the frustration and injustice that comes with it.

At the end of episode 5, where you decide to push forward of give yourself up, I knew the right thing to do was to give yourself up...though, in my white privileged opinion, I would have done that from the start. Too much had happened since and we know that Sean is going to be in prison for a long time. The poor boy was just defending his brother and trying his best to get through an awful situation. I just couldn't give up at this point...too much had happened. So, I pushed forward and used Daniel's powers for myself (the only time in the game) but since Daniel was raised with morals, he jumped out of the car to be arrested by the police. The brothers never see each other again...and this still tears me up inside. It's what I dreamt about last night: What is Daniel doing locked inside his grandparents house? Will Sean ever see him again? Whilst it's sad, it made the most sense to me. Sean was finally free and Daniel, who had killed people and was dangerous, is kept under close watch.

Like Life is Strange 1, I quickly watched the other endings after completing the game, and yeah, I think I got the best ending for me. If I'd raised Daniel to be a shit, I would have gotten the "happiest" ending of the lot, but at what cost? If I'd played the game oppositely to what I did, Sean would've... Anyway, by episode 4 and 5, I really, really loved Sean. He went through so much and never stopped caring about Daniel. Maybe he made stupid decisions at times, but it never felt frustrating for the player: He's a teenager and learning about who he wants to be, too. He is his own character, but leaves enough player agency to make your choices matter. In what I found to be a year of soulless, silent protagonists, Sean Diaz was a refreshing change.

Eeeee! I loved Tangle Tower! Although I wasn't part of the IGF jury this year, I took part in the judging and got to play a load of indie games. Tangle Tower was the standout to me and I hope it gets the recognition it deserves over the coming months.

I'm not really a murder-mystery fan, but within minutes, Tangle Tower had me hooked. The beautiful background art, music, fabuluous voice-acting and stunning character animations made the experience a delight and I couldn't put it down. The game itself was welcoming and eased you into how to play with a perfect tutorial and clear objective given in the first 15 minutes – Great!

I could honestly gush about the character animations for this whole post, but I won't as you can see how awesome they are yourself. I hadn't played any of the Detective Grimoire games before this, but the mechanics were clever and inspired me for Memories. Even the tip button was nicely implemented; I only used it once (when I was truly stuck) and I didn't feel dirty for doing so. Usually with point-and-clicks, I get stuck all the time, and it's a reason I don't play them as much as I'd like to, but Tangle Tower got it right.

I guess the only thing I wasn't too happy about was how quickly it ended. You know me, I don't have a problem with short games, but the beginning spent many hours investigating everything, whilst the ending got wrapped up in what felt like a few minutes. To me, it felt rushed and I wished I could've seen a few more hints towards the culprit leading up to the end...Though, I suppose murder-mysteries tend to reveal the truth only right at the very end.

I had so much fun with Tangle Tower and it was about 5-7 hours of playtime. I highly recommend it!

Fleabag had been on my list for a while. I'd heard good things but just never got around to it. After the release of season 2, I thought it was finally time to watch it...

I still don't know how to describe Fleabag. It's a drama...about a woman...who runs a small business...in London. Most of the characters are awful people too, but they're fully human; warts and all. I guess what makes Fleabag so great is not what the show is about, but how the show is told. It's intimate and truthful, with Fleabag especially breaking the forth wall and talking to us directly about all her thoughts. It has the perfect balance of humour, love and tragedy.

I watched a lot of shows last year, but Fleabag was probably my favourite. It's perfectly executed and thoroughly entertaining. I already want to watch it again and am gutted I missed the stage show!

I wasn't sure if I'd enjoy Parasite when I saw that it featured heavy violence, but I'd heard good things and, since it's from South Korea, I decided to take the gamble. Whilst I turned away from the violence of last scene (with audio commentary from my fiancé), I couldn't look away for the rest of the film. I felt like I was watching a Hitchcock, except here the story just kept taking unexpected turns after unexpected turns.

I usually write these blog posts full of spoilers, but I don't want to do that for Parasite. It's best to just experience it yourself. I genuinely laughed out loud in the first half of the film and was in shock for the second half. I left the cinema feeling enriched: The morals of the story were on my mind for days afterwards, and it makes me look twice when I see poverty or desperation.

Join me soon for part 2!

​Happy new year everyone!

Whoa, it’s been over a year since I last updated you all on Memories' development! Apologies for going dark on it for so long; the year has been crazy with One Night Stand’s console launch and localisations, plus my own personal illness, but I’m through the thick of it now and pushing forward! Memories is really starting to come together and I’m very happy with how much I’ve achieved in the last couple of months.

To start, I’ve been updating all the memory artwork in the game so it animates in an inkblot style.

The old style is on the left and the new is on the right:

It's subtle, but the advantage of the animated style is the opportunity for lack of clarity i.e. when the protagonist's memories are most blurry, the fade can be more dramatic. The original gouache-like style on the left wasn’t able to convey that because it was too clean, so I've leant towards watercolour paints, which are pale, fluid and expressive.

Sometimes, I think doing this traditionally would have been easier! Digital paint brushes can be a pain, but I found that Procreate has some of the best out there, so all this new artwork has been done on my iPad. It’s taken a while, but last week I began drawing some new scenes, which was refreshing!

​Here's a look at some of them (stills):

I started on the non-memory/ present day artwork, too, to ensure both styles suited one-another. I was considering rotoscoping for a while, but it wouldn’t match the memory art style unless I rotoscoped that as well, and I’m just one person with limitations – I have to draw the line somewhere (hohoho).

​I still wanted the present day art artwork to look more realistic than the memories, so I decided to use direct photo reference instead:

Now, there is a clear distinction between what Millie remembers and how she is today, not just in colouring but also in how people are drawn.

Artwork aside, I’ve been editing the script and adding a few more puzzles to the game. It’s definitely more “gamey” and, with only a few different outcomes, more linear than One Night Stand. I estimate a playthrough will take a few hours, perfect for one or two good sessions of gaming!

My next plans are to continue editing and ensuring the puzzles work. Also UI. UI has been a mess for a while, so I want to fix it and wrap the whole game in a neat little package (cue Homer Simpson). Then, I'll be seeking out alpha testers who will finally be able to see what they're actually doing! There's also a little music and SFX in there too, exciting!

Obviously, there’s still much work to go, but over the next few months, I can see Memories getting wrapped up. I may even decide on a final name! I've narrowed down my shortlist so I will be picking one soon.

I plan on writing a “Best of 2019” post on here before the year is out, so I'll be back here before you know it. There's been a lot of inspirational and fun things this year which I want to share with you all.

​Happy holidays!

One Night Stand is now available to play on Xbox One, Playstation 4 and Nintendo Switch. I can't believe it!

It's now playable in the following languages: English, French, German, Spanish, Brazilian Portuguese, Russian, Traditional Chinese and Simplified Chinese.

We are celebrating with a launch discount on some platforms, so grab it whilst it's cheap! The full price will be $4.99.

Also, if you're playing on PC, Mac or Linux, there has been an update adding Traditional Chinese, Spanish AND Portuguese (EU). There are also some minor bug fixes and improvements, but please note: Portuguese (EU) is NOT yet included in the Playstation 4, Xbox One and Nintendo Switch versions.

I hope you all enjoy experiencing One Night Stand on your home televisions or on-the-go! Have fun and thanks for all your support!

I hope you're as excited as me to see One Night Stand coming to consoles! I will be updating you all very soon on One Night Stand's launch and progress on my next project, Memories.

Thanks for your continued support.

Wow, so if you caught the Kinda Funny E3 showcase, you’ll know that One Night Stand is coming to consoles!!! (and if you didn’t see it, well, now you know!)

This has secretly been in the works for a while, so I’m thrilled to be able to finally talk about it! One Night Stand will be on Nintendo Switch, Xbox One and Playstation 4 this Summer, and I’ll be updating this site when I know the exact release date/s. Here's a sneak peak:

The game is a direct port of the PC/ Mac/ Linus version, with UI changes for controllers, and the addition of Spanish and Traditional Chinese, which also means that Spanish and Traditional Chinese are coming to the PC, Mac and Linux versions, too!

So, please keep your eye out for the port release date here, on my Twitter, Facebook or, if you’re a little bit retro, sign up to the newsletter!​