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It's 2021 – What I enjoyed last year

1/5/2021

Happy New Year everyone! 6 years ago today, I started this adventure making my own indie games. I can't believe I've been doing this longer than any other job I've had, and I'm grateful I'm still able to do it :) However, it's been several months since I last updated you all on what I'm doing which I apologise for, though 2020 certainly was a year, huh? I thought 2019 was bad enough when several things went wrong for me, including my health nosediving into the unknown, but 2020 certainly took the biscuit. I think everyone is happy to see the end it, even though 2021 may not prove to be any better...

Anyway, every new year, I typically write a post about what I enjoyed over the last year. I'll be doing that again here, although it's taken me a considerable amount of energy to write or do anything creative recently.

I've felt burnt out for over a year now. Once again, I took on too much work for myself alone and have had to act in several roles. Previously, when I got tired of work, I would switch to something else; Done too much art? Focus on programming. Done too much programming? Focus on writing. Done too much writing? Focus on audio. But this time, I have exhausted everything and I know I need a serious creative break after my next game is released. It doesn't help that everyone has been unable to travel most of 2020, as travel typically helps me recharge my creative energy. However, to combat this burn out, I hired some help, took staycations, and even took a trip out to the remote German countryside to escape the city. I took time off over Christmas to rest and relax, too, but it's hard to properly relax when friend's get sick, their parents die, governments continue to be incompetent etc etc. Everything has been so much harder in the last 9 months, and it's amazing simply surviving it.

I haven't seen my family or friends in person for 9 months now, but we've been playing games online and doing what we can to stay in touch. Things are bad, but not too bad. I try to remind myself every day just how lucky I am to be working at home doing what I love. Hopefully, with vaccines now being rolled out, we can start thinking about the future again.

2020 meant a lot of us stayed inside: We were able to catch up on the shows, films, books and games on our lists, and still have time spare to revisit our favourites. So, here's my list of what I caught my attention throughout the year, in the hopes some of you may find something new which you can enjoy, too!

Avatar: The Last Airbender

I was super late to this party, but when Netflix brought back ATLA, I figured I'd finally watch it to see what all the fuss was about. Oh. My. God. My favourite thing of 2020 was watching this classic – I had such a blast and couldn't stop watching it! So, when it was over, I immediately jumped on to The Legend of Korra, though sadly I wasn't into it anywhere near as much as ATLA and found it a bit of a slog...Still, I can't wait to rewatch ATLA again (since by husband bought me the blu-ray boxset! <3 ) and get into the comics! (Oh, and I need to draw some Zuko fan art at some point!)

Don't do what I did and skip this gem because it's a kids cartoon or from Nickelodeon or whatever – get on it!

13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim

My fan art of good boy Miura.

13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim was probably my favourite game of the year. I say "probably" because I was agonising for weeks whether it was this or Paradise Killer. They're both joint firsts, I think, but 13 Sentinels made me cry and got me drawing fan art again, so perhaps it has the edge.

I don't know where to start about why I like this game...The art, the music, the story, the characters...Everything is good.

13 Sentinels is an ambitious sci-fi story which is somewhat like a collection of every sci-fi plot you can think of, with so many twists and turns it feels like you're going deeper and deeper down a rabbit hole. The ending was also pleasant, being extremely hopeful for mankind (which was comforting in 2020) and, unlike so many games these days, didn't feel like corners had been cut.

13 Sentinels is the first Vanillaware game I've played (everyone seemed to assume I was a big fan of theirs because I kept raving about this), but now I want to check out their other titles. You heard it from me: You do not need to be a Vanillaware fan to play this game.

Anyway, I'm glad 13 Sentinels performed well for Vanillaware in the West and is continuing to get picked up by more and more players. However, it's an easy game to spoil so I won't say anymore about it. Best to go in with little knowledge and try it for yourself.

Paradise Killer

I got to spend about 35-40 hours with 13 Sentinels. In contrast, Paradise Killer took me around 12-14 hours to complete. However, in less time, it gave me just as much enjoyment. Paradise Killer in an incredible game. I had such a blast with it and enjoyed exploring the whole island so I could find every clue possible...and I'm rarely a completionist.

Unlike most detective games, PK is non-linear and open-ended – In the final trial, you can accuse whoever you feel like. Of course, if you find everything, more evidence points to certain people, but your own judgement can be swayed by the order you found clues or whether or not you felt attached to any of the characters. I ended up sentencing a character I really liked to death because I believed they were guilty. It plays with your own morals and sense of judgement, and I liked that a lot.

The coolest thing in PK, besides the banging soundtrack which I cannot stop listening to, is probably the world itself. The lore, the demons, the gods, the clear Japanese and American influences, even a Shiba-Inu...! It's all perfectly thought out and the best game world I've visited in several years. I honestly felt upset having to leave the 24th Island Sequence, though I hope there will be a sequel in future where we can visit Perfect 25!

Holovista

Here's another game with a vaporwave-like aesthetic, this time mixed with art deco and Instagram filters. Holovista is an AR game on iOS, set in a near future's Instagram-like app. The pre-rendered backgrounds we see throughout the game are some of the most stunning artworks I have ever seen in a video game, and it's clear these visuals were designed by a team who've worked in theatre, art and photography, rather than just video games. Again, like PK, the world's aesthetic is strong and you really feel as though you're being transported somewhere else.

Holovista's story critiques the effects of social media on our mental health, though I personally wanted it to go deeper on this than it did. The ending felt quite abrupt too, but, all in all, it was a different gaming experience which I recommend everyone experience.

BL: Metamorphosis

I read a lot of manga throughout the year, but the stand out for me was BL: Metamorphosis. BL:M is a story about two Boy's Love fans who form a friendship through their shared love of BL. However, one is a high school student and part-time bookseller who knows all the latest BL, whilst the other is an elderly widowed woman (Ichinoi) who's just getting into BL.

I have a soft spot for elderly women trying new things like BL or video games, and then getting involved in the fandom or starting their own YouTube channels...For me, it's seriously heart-warming. I also hope that one day I will be a nerdy old lady like that, too, but what's so refreshing reading about this kind of thing is how age can affect your ability to enjoy such hobbies. Ichinoi is invited to a comic convention but has trouble waiting in line due to her legs and often needs to sit down.

Another moment which struck me was when Ichinoi was calculating how long it would take the manga-ka to finish the BL she was reading. She realised there's a good chance she maybe dead by the time the story is finished, something perhaps creators don't consider when working on their projects. BL:M sounds like a downer when I type out scenes like that, but Kaori Tsurutani delivers these lines so nonchalantly, it evokes empathy and warmth with the character.

Again, you don't have to be a BL fan to enjoy this one! Check it out.

Mushi-shi

Mushi-Shi is an anime that has been on my watch list for many years, and because of being stuck inside much of the last year, I was finally able to watch it. Mushi-Shi is a quiet, slowly paced, episodic anime, quite different from typical seinen (for men) shows. In it, we follow Ginko; a master of Mushi (primitive, ubiquitous creatures), wandering through a 19th century Japan and treating the various ailments caused by them.

What I liked most about this show were the very real, human stories set in a fantastical, historic Japan. It was fascinating to see how each person reacted to their or their family member's illness/ good fortune caused by the Mushi.

Mushi-Shi was another piece of entertainment I encountered in 2020 with a strong, well thought-out world and aesthetic. Most episodes are melancholic, so I took my time watching it, but each episode has some of the best animation I've ever seen for a TV series. There was also a strange comfort watching a gentle show about ailments, virus-like creatures and epidemics in a year where they were really relevant.

Mob Psycho 100

Reigen's expression and animation in this scene makes it so special <3

I branched out a little with my anime this year...Shortly after watching Mushi-Shi, I started Mob Psycho 100. I'm not particularly fond of shonen (for boys) anime, but MP100 was a lot of fun, mainly because of it's fantastic cast of characters and cool animation (by studio Bones).

I was surprised when I learnt the first series was only 12 episodes long (I thought it was an anime with 50+ episodes or something) because there are so many characters! Yet, each character is perfectly introduced and understood even with their limited screen time.

My favourite moments tended to be at the start of each season; seeing Mob interact at school, trying his best to work out, getting duped by Reigen, being generally socially awkward, whilst seeing small glimpses of his awesome psychic powers. Towards the end of each season, the show goes fully shonen, and I found it a little dull/ tropey. Less time was spent with Mob and Reigen, who, in my opinion, are the strength of the show, and more time spent on enemies and fights...Though, I'll admit, some of the fights were pretty awesome and even I felt pumped! But my favourite parts of MP100 were whenever Mob was being super sweet. He's a character who's impossible to not love. Now, I want to draw Mob and Reigen fan art, hehe!

Necrobarista

Games about death seem to be in fashion right now. There's Spiritfarer, I Am Dead and Necrobarista (just to name a few), but the latter really made me feel for the characters and question my thoughts around death and mortality. I know a game about death might seem like the last thing you'd want to experience in 2020 but, like all good stories around death, Necrobarista is actually hopeful, sweet and full of love.

I first played Necrobarista for IGF judging a few years ago, so it was an early build which, at the time, left little impression on me, but I decided to try it again when the final version released. Whilst playing, I was surprised at just how much it had changed. Necrobarista still has some weak moments, but overall it's a stylish game, extremely unique, and both happy and sad. It's a linear visual novel, with few choices or player input, but the camera shots and music make for a great experience and, if I'm honest, I preferred staying closer to the narrative, than wasting my time on mini-games and simulations. I also appreciated the setting (Melbourne, Australia) and culture around it, with tooltips on what certain Australian phrases mean. Another game which did this in 2020 was If Found, which is set in Ireland, and this trend is something I'd like to see more of in games. It makes a refreshing change to learn about different cultures and language usages outside the US.

Bugsnax

"Oh-oo-oh! It's Bugsnax!" – Those are the lyrics to Kero Kero Bonito's song which I haven't been able to get out of my head since last Summer! Bugsnax is a "cute" adventure game where you collect Bugsnax (kinda bug, kinda snack), feed them to local residents, help the residents, take photographs, and uncover the mysteries of Snaktooth island. I was very excited about this game as the premise sounded bizarre, yet different and "cute". I keep writing "cute" with inverted commas because it felt like there was always something iffy about Snaktooth island...Some kind of dark undertone to what was actually going on. This seemed to catch some players off-guard, assuming it was just a wholesome, kids game, but I liked that it went to a weird, darker place later on.

Whilst playing, I experienced a few bugs (har har) and often caught the bugsnax with luck alone, so I often didn't feel like I really earnt my catch. However, Bugsnax has some great, lovable characters and hilarious moments. My favourite characters were Snorpy and Chandlo as they're complete opposites but both love and care about each other deeply. Actually, there are more gay couples in Bugsnax than straight, and I feel like no-one has pointed that out which is a bit of a shame since I think it should be celebrated for great representation, especially in a "kids" game.

Anyway, Bugsnax made me feel like a kid again; whether that's because of the N64 vibe (it's a lot like Pokémon Snap), the silly characters or the "cute" critters, I don't know...but I do know it felt good to feel like that in 2020.

Haven

Haven is a (optional) couch co-op game which I played with my husband. You play a couple who have escaped to Source –a fragmented, previously inhabited planet– so they can be together. It's a gorgeous game with a fantastic soundtrack by Danger, who did Furi's OST. However, the controls make the game a little less fun, and the story's pacing is all over the place. The characters barely grow, too, which is a little disappointing, but I wanted to talk about Haven because, despite these issues, I found it inspiring. Couch co-op games have always been a favourite of mine, yet so few exist these days, but what makes Haven different is it's about a couple. Off the top of my head, I cannot think of another game where you play a couple in love...It's refreshing and pleasing to see. Also, this couple is straight, and I feel there aren't many straight couples in games who actually like each other or are explored beyond the initial getting together phase. In Haven, we see Kay and Yu always talking to one-another, holding each other as they fall asleep, cooking together, regaining health from hugs and kisses...and it's all beautiful. I won't say that their chemistry is anything particularly special; many lines of dialogue are relatable but rather tropey, yet it was still refreshing to see a couple trying to work together to survive on an unknown planet. Moments where Kay and Yu get intimate even felt a little uncomfortable, like we shouldn't be there, though I'm always impressed when a game pushes boundaries like that. The voice acting was superb, too, and brought both characters to life. Having been stuck inside most of the year with my husband, it was nice to see another couple getting by in their isolation and discussing amongst themselves if they're able to cope being cut off from everyone. Anyway, I recommend Haven if you enjoy seeing romance in games or enjoy Toejam and Earl – It's basically Toejam and Earl but they're in love.

Revolutionary Girl Utena

Lastly, I rewatched my favourite anime: Revolutionary Girl Utena. I won't talk too much about it, as I'm sure I've mentioned why I love it a thousand times already, but I was finally able to buy a region 2(!!) box set and officially watch it! Seriously, I've had to cope with poor quality limewire files I downloaded over 15 years ago up until this point! Why are my favourite shows so difficult to find? >_< Anyway, I had such a good time revisiting it, I drew another fan art, this time of Utena in her coffin (see right).

Every time I watch RGU, I spot something new or finally figure out what something means. It's such a symbolic show and can be interpreted in a variety of ways, which is a huge reason I love returning to it. For example, unlike many of RGU's fans, I'm not lesbian, so I don't particularly see sexual tension between Anthy and Utena. However, as I a gray-ace, what I do see is pure-ace or platonic love, instead, but whatever your orientation, it's clear Utena loves Anthy throughout the show and does everything she can for her. Everyone's interpretations of this show are valid, and there's a beauty in keeping things symbolic and vague so it can reach a wider audience.

Each time I watch RGU, Utena seems more and more naive and foolish, but that doesn't make her unlikeable in the slightest – Many of us are naive and foolish when it comes to society's influence on us, in particular patriarchy's. To me, it's always enjoyable to see Utena (and the other characters) slowly wake up to this throughout the show...Not everyone wants to revolutionise the world as Utena eventually does. Some aspire to uphold the patriarchy and others wish entirely that miracles would cease to exist.

As I keep saying throughout this post, please do not miss this because you think it's not for you. My husband also loves RGU because it's deep, dark and complex, and he barely likes anime. There's a lot going on in RGU for everyone. For me, I love the message that you're valid even if you don't adhere to society's norms – Girls can be strong, but they don't need cast aside their femininity or play by patriarchy's rules in order to be so.

There were many other things I enjoyed throughout the year (Hades, Animal Crossing: New Horizons, Among Us), though I felt these have been covered much better by more people, so I wanted to talk about things you may have missed. Also, there were a load of games and shows I didn't get around to in time. For example, I'm still playing Yakuza: Like a Dragon and rewatching Sailor Moon and The Demon Headmaster (hello my 90s), though I feel these are all things I'd be talking about if I'd finished them before the year end!

However, before I sign off, I want to do a final shout out to my gaming moment of the year which was from Final Fantasy VII Remake. I know...FF7 Remake. Me. If you've read my previous blog post, you may be confused as to why my favourite gaming moment of the year was in FF7 Remake, but the moment you reach the third phase of the Jenova battle, the music drops and all my love for the the original game resurfaced, giving me goosebumps over my entire body. It was something special, even if it was mostly through the power of nostalgia.

As for game development, I am planning on a formal announcement for my next game real soon. In the past, I have said too much, too soon, so I don't want to make that mistake again. I just thank you for sticking with me and being so patient!

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As several countries are once again going into lockdown, everyone please look after yourselves and stay safe! We'll get through this together.

Best wishes for 2021!

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