This will be a different blog post than my usual stuff, but I've had a lot on my mind since finishing Final Fantasy XV. It's a very inspiring game overall, but the ending really hit me particulary hard. It's just been that kind of year. 2016 has been tough for a lot of people, and, for me, there was personal stuff going on as well. FFXV closed that for me, but I'll go into that a little later... Warning, lots of spoilers for FFXV, Undertale, Rose of Versailles, Rogue One and Stardew Valley in here.

It's been a year for emotional media. I started off playing Undertale in January, which is both delightful and shocking. I loved the characters, particular Sans and Napstablook (my kindred spirit), and regretted downing the first boss so much that I reset the game to try and do it over. Flowey knew what I did and pointing it out, saying I regretted my actions! Whoa! Things only get deeper from there.

The soundtrack kept me bouncing for many months afterwards, I absolutely adore it! On bad days, Enemy Approaching would lift my spirits and make me feel like I could keep going, but every week, I'd fall in love with a new track and have to play it on loop. Such powerful stuff.

Soon after, I bought Stardew Valley and began crying at the opening scene... where Grandpa dies. I don't even know this Grandpa, but I'm sobbing at the optimistic future he's left for us. "Oh my God, it's just a cute pixel art game. Why am I crying?" I thought. Turns out, Stardew Valley is packed with humanity and love, one of the reasons it's my game of the year.

Around this time though, I'd gotten ill and taken nearly 2 months off work. Stardew Valley kept me going through those tough times, but Pokémon Go literally helped me get back on my feet. Being stuck inside for so long during the early Summer months made me feel lousy. My illness meant I couldn't really walk, but Pokémon Go helped me get back out there and into my life. It wasn't a quick process, in fact I still struggle some days, but there's no doubt Pokémon Go came into my life when I needed it most. I still haven't caught them all – there aren't that many good Pokémon where I live – but it doesn't really matter to me. Catching Pokémon, walking eggs... It eases the stress and anxiety my illness had created.

During my recovery, I watched a lot of anime, particulary Rose of Versailles. Being a huge Revolutionary Girl Utena fan, it had been on my list for some time, but oh my God, I was not prepared for that ending! The show is over 30 years old so I'll openly talk about the ending, but please skip on if you don't want to read spoilers! 

I heard it was a sad show, I mean, it's about the French Revolution, and we've all seen Les Miserables before, right? Well, after André's eye is wounded, he has the choice to stay and heal, or go and find Oscar. Of course, Oscar is everything to him, so he leaves... resulting in being blinded in his left eye. This is a character we've seen since he was a young boy. Seeing him lose his sight was heartbreaking, but it only gets worse... As he strained his right eye for so long, he slowly begins to lose his sight altogether. He keeps it to himself the whole time however, not wanting to burden anyone, but also from the fear that he'll no longer be able to stay by Oscar's side.

I'd usually hate a scene like this, but the episode is so well done, warning us of André's fears and doubts throughout, that you see where he is coming from. On another note, it's great to see a conversation like this being made in the late 1970's. I love masculine female characters!

After André is completely blinded, he's soon shot. This anime doesn't pull its punches! André and Oscar get together the night before, after Oscar finally realises she's in love with him, but it's suddenly all over. His death happens so fast, very truthful to how it would have been I suppose, but it's an emotional kick to say the least.

I paced Rose of Versailles very slowly when I watched it... It's just too heavy to binge. Sometimes, I'd feel really depressed after watching it too. I hear you, why watch something like that? Well, it's just an amazing, well-made show. It's heavy and deep, and because of that, it feels like it matters. Oscar and André are, dare I say, the best anime couple I've come across. André's love for Oscar is just so beautiful. But, you should be in a good place if you plan on watching it... It's great but depressing.

Which leads me to Final Fantasy XV. Another thing which got me down by the time I finished it. Again, though, I do not discourage you checking it out, in fact I urge you to! Warning, big spoilers for the game ahead.

FFXV has its faults, I won't deny. When Regis dies (Noctis' father), Noctis barely seems bothered by it. It's a problem of having an open world... why mourn my father's death when I can choose to go camping with my buddies instead? Camping, though, is tremendous fun... How many games treat night and day like they actually matter? Where resting and eating are actually important? FFXV does. At the campsite, besides cooking a delicious meal with Ignis, you can check out Prompto's photographs of the day, which is a fantastic little feature, adding so much heart and humanity to the characters.

As you play more of the story, though, things slowly get dark in FFXV. Literally too; the days get shorter, and Noctis carries the burden of knowing he must sacrifice himself to restore the world. It's pretty tough burden for a guy of 20 years old to carry, but luckily he doesn't have to do it alone. The brotherhood of Noctis, Gladiolus, Ignis and Prompto is what makes this game worthwhile. I urge you to do the side-quests and spend as much time as you can with these guys before progressing further with the story. You'll get more from it if you do.

I know, there could be way more dialogue when they're cruising around Eos, and yeah, at first glance I thought they looked like a J-Pop boy band too... but they're so much more than this. There's a particular heart-warming scene with Noctis and Prompto sat on the motel roof. Prompto opens up about his doubts of being part of the team to Noctis. You can play is cold, or cute, so I chose cute of course! It was lovely to see this option there, because I worry a lot of men feel they can't show compassion to one another without getting "That's not manly!" or "That's gay!" shouted at them. Why does being nice to one another have to be deemed negative? As I'd initially judged FFXV to be a poor game with tropey characters and terrible female character designs, this motel scene surprised me. It reminded me of what I loved about older Final Fantasy games, that is, to push the boundaries. I only got more impressed as the game went on.

When I first loaded up FFXV, I loved Gladio, mainly for his looks (I won't deny), but then Ignis became a quick favourite as I appreciate a guy who looks after others. Some folks call him the mother of the group, which I find pretty derogatory as men can be great carers (and look fabulous as they do it) too.

Another plus, because Ignis is usually so serious, it's even funnier when he gets caught in photos like this:

I love it!

However, things don't stay so happy and silly for long. When Lunafreya dies later on, I barely cared – We didn't get to know her that much, so what, right? But then we find out that IGNIS GOT BLINDED!! Oh my God, it's like André all over again! It didn't help that I went to the Dialog Museum the weekend before to experience what it's like to be blind (note: scary and difficult AF) and came out feeling so grateful that I have eyes that work. It made Ignis' disability even more distressing, but regardless, it was a heartbreaking moment on its own... Lunafreya died, sure, but Ignis – the awesome guy who's always got our back – just got blinded! I was so sad after this, for days... I couldn't stop thinking about it. Who'd have thought FFXV would tackle something like this and make you care so damn much? Gladio later tells Noct to get out of his funk and "give a shit about someone worse off" as Ignis has also suffered loss but just got on with it. Cool dude or what?

I remembered my grandparents. How they were once young and happy. How they are now finally together. I never used to believe in things like that, but I do now. Not because of this image, or the game, or even the year, but for the belief that he's no longer alone. He's with Nana now. My grief had given it one last go; I cried so much staring at the both of them together.

Many people have interpretted this ending scene in different ways, but for me, it will always be Noctis and Lunafreya finally finding each other in the after-life and resting happily together forever-more. That's what I believe. What's even more touching, is how the Final Fantasy XV logo changes afterwards too. I felt depressed and couldn't focus on anything else for the rest of the evening, and since then, I've been unable to touch FFXV to finish those side-quests. I will one day soon, but, for now, I'm still cherishing the ending and what it meant to me. It helped me say goodbye to the year, and to my Grandfather.

If 2016 hadn't been sad enough, I watched Rogue One last night and started playing To the Moon, which I caught super cheap in the Steam Winter sale. Why do I do it to myself, I wonder. I don't know, I just enjoy powerful stories. I guess some of the best are also the saddest. Rogue One wouldn't have meant as much if all the rebels got away safely... It had to end like that for their story to have impact. I'm glad it ended as it did... apart from the uncanny valley Princess Leia and upbeat ending credits music, both of which might as well have said "Fuck you, we're the real story here" (...and I think Rogue One was actually one of the best!)

I'm nearly 3 hours into To the Moon and I'm not really sure what to expect, but it's been really gripping so far. Perhaps I'll finish it later tonight, to say one last hurrah to the sad year that has been 2016.

It's been a month today since One Night Stand released on Steam, so in this blog post I will be doing a mini postmortem on the game, and then delving into my plans for my future projects!

A month is quite soon to be doing this, but I'm already planning on moving onto my next project. In my last post, I said I'd already begun reworking some of LoveIRL's script. Well, I got way sidetracked with all the promotional work for ONS that I didn't get to do much... There were loads of assets and extras to make for Steam (trading cards are coming soon!), many interviews to do, and a ton of journalists and Let's Players to reach out to, not to mention a few achievement bugs which cropped up and were tricky to fix... Don't worry, they're all sorted now! All in all, I think promotion has gone super well! There have been loads of fabulous reviews, articles, interviews and support. Considering I am doing all this for the first time, and I'm an unheard-of indie developer, it's been really, really successful!

Players are enjoying the game and the rating on Steam has recently just popped to "Very Positive", which was what I hoped to achieve. I'm really glad people are having fun with the game and they're walking away feeling glad they had the experience. Some players have even said that the game has helped them emotionally and hit close to their heart. Receiving messages like this is always delightful, in fact, I have a few of them printed and stuck around my work area. It's nice to remember the positive you do when you work on your own every day... It's easy to forget who it's all for.

Making One Night Stand, as a game jam first, turned out to be a really good idea. It gave me limitations, which is almost a must for a creative to actually finish a project. With LoveIRL, I originally aimed for it to be completed in a year, but the project kept growing and ambitions soared. I felt like I was getting lost and losing focus. With ONS, however, I actually completed something that is now supporting me financially. Until now, I'd been supporting myself with savings, so actually earning real money is great; it means I can keep developing games in future... not that it's going to be a walk in the park! If anything, One Night Stand's profits have been a bit of a reality check. When the free game jam version had such a huge impact, I sort of expected the full version to perform just as well when it released. I've learnt there is certainly a difference between Youtube success vs game sales, and free vs paid.

It's popular opinion that demos are a waste of time, but I think because ONS was originally a short, free game (almost demo-like) it meant people were willing to give it a go. As an unknown indie developer, with a weird first game, it's understandably a risk for people to buy the game... It could easily seem like a waste of money. Also, I think many look at the title One Night Stand and think that it's not for them; perhaps they haven't had a one night stand themselves and think it's irrelevant to them, or they have had one and don't want to relive it. Really, the game is about waking up not remembering the night before, and realising that you got involved with a real person who has her own life to live. It's a story that most people can relate to one way or another. I'd never think of changing the name of the game though, but I do believe it gives some people the wrong impression. There is a lot of social stigma around the topic, after all.

Yeah, there are loads of comments saying this in one way or another. I guess there's an assumption that if a game has sex in it, it must be bad. This is another stigma which ONS faces, but is slowly chipping away at.

Looking at elements of the game... The art style is generally well-liked and players enjoy the rotoscope animations especially. The gameplay is also appreciated, for a visual novel at least, although a few people feel there are too many endings. I can see why as the game was originally designed to only have a few, so replaying can sometimes feel like a chore. Thing is, I never expected players to actually want to play more than a few times. Myself, I only ever really play a game like this once, maybe twice, then I move on. However, I'm seeing crazy play times on some Steam reviews and cannot believe it, it's incredible! Adding the gallery after a play-through was to ensure players knew there were more endings to unlock, and designing it like a phone matched the theme of the game, but I never expected people to feel compelled to do it.

The music and sound effects occassionally get called out for being basic, and that's fair too; they're very simple. However, others love the music, so much that I often get emails asking where people can download the soundtrack. It's not released yet, but I'll be putting it on Bandcamp very soon!

Hurray! It's finally happening! One Night Stand is coming to Steam on November 8th 2016! (I got so excited writing that, I gave myself hiccups!)

It's much later than I anticipated, these things always are *hiccup*, but at least it's finally on its way. Steam achievements and Steam Cloud are enabled, but Cards and Wallpapers are not. I plan on adding those at some point when I get back off holiday... That's right, that thing I said I'd never do again (see my last post), I'm doing again! I truly thought One Night Stand would be out by now when I booked my trip... Oh well, I've received a few bug reports from people with the itch.io version (thank you!) and have updated the build a few times since it's release. I think all issues are now sorted *fingers crossed*, but regardless, I'll be taking my laptop with me this time!

Also, the IGF 2017 entrants have been announced and One Night Stand is one of them! However, there are over 650, and some of those are truly, unbelievably great games, so I'm not so sure about my chances!

Okay, so putting One Night stand aside for a moment, work has resumed on LoveIRL (remember that game?)! After having such a long break from the project, I now see a lot of issues with it, mainly the story and pacing, but, sadly, also the real-world art style. The in-game art style (low polygon renders) have been positively received, but not so much the real-world stuff. Also, I don't like it. I never felt 100% on it, but looking back, I really don't think it has enough appeal. One Night Stand taught me, if I didn't know it already, that a game really needs a solid aesthetic to be successful. I've seen it happen enough times, but I was so solely focussed on my project, I just couldn't see the art style with fresh eyes. I guess this break has been pretty worthwhile after all!

To make it feel cleaner and crisper, I even restarted the project in Ren'Py. Now, even the buggy and messy code that I had will be replaced with what I've learnt whilst making One Night Stand. Good stuff.

​When the time is right, I may still consider a crowd-funding campaign to add extras to LoveIRL. Animation, voice overs and other language and platform support would be lovely to have, but with it just being me (and my low budget) I'll never get the dream game out without a little help. Still, a lot more work has to be done before I can think about that!

"What's new with One Night Stand?"

Let me explain here, in a little more detail, exactly what's different about the full version of the game (which you can download here: https://kinmoku.itch.io/one-night-stand ) ...

First, a little history... One Night Stand was made in under four weeks for NaNoRenO game jam, in March 2016. It was made in less than the given time because I had a holiday booked to Japan at the end of March. I didn't want to miss the jam (again), so I figured I'd do what I could in the time limit. This meant, that I released the game the morning before I flew to Tokyo. And there were bugs. And download issues. And the first few days of my holiday proved to be quite stressful... I only had access to email on my phone and had no way of fixing the bugs! Mental note: Never go on holiday straight after releasing a game, ever again.

I really didn't want to miss the game jam deadline though, so I just submitted it, assuming only friends and people on Lemma Soft would play it. How wrong I was. After it got mentioned on Rock, Paper, Shotgun, let's plays started appearing day by day. Then, even more popular Youtubers started playing the game, and I hadn't reached out to anyone... at all. I knew the game was buggy, unfinished and needed a lot of work. It was not something I was proud of yet, so I thought "I'll reach out to people once the full version is finished." But people didn't wait, they still played it, then others played it, and soon it was out of my control. It felt a little scary, as it was my game/ product, which has grown more popular than myself. It was difficult – no, impossible – to contain, but I was trying my best to.

Eventually, I learnt I had to let it be. "It's out there now. I just hope people will still care when the full version comes out."

So, I worked hard, and over six months later the full version came out on October 20th. So, what's new?

It's still set in the same morning after situation. It is not a sequel, it's the fully realised, true vision of what I intended for the game. It's the difference between less than a month's work and six months work. It's adding everything I didn't originally have time to. It's making the story, expressions and emotions make sense. It's adding more animations, music, items and artwork to be able to do this successfully. It's adding the little, funny ideas I always wanted to. It's making the game play better, and giving you more content. It's watching hundreds of let's play videos to see how people want to act in the full version. It's, then, expanding all the choices, so you can act the way you want. It's having double the amount of endings to reflect this. It's having nicer UI, an ending gallery and giving you a purpose for playing. It's fully bug-testing and play-testing to ensure you get a smooth, balanced experience. 

But if you want something a little more visual than my wall of text, check out the release trailer below:
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This is the true version of One Night Stand, and that other, NaNoRenO version that perhaps you watched, played or heard about? That was a demo/ alpha build which grew out of control. If you liked it, try this out, and if you didn't, for any of the reasons described above, then also try this out. The game has changed a lot, whilst still being the same One Night Stand that we know.

You may have heard that the full version is coming soon to Steam... This is true. One Night Stand was greenlit within eight days and will be available to download on Steam next month. I'll be letting everyone (and I mean everyone) know about the Steam release when it's ready.

So, it’s now “the next few weeks” and One Night Stand is nearly finished! I’ll be sending it to play-testers shortly (please get in touch if you’d like to help) and working on a new trailer, marketing assets, website re-design and actually doing some PR whilst I wait for feedback.

The gallery section is now 90% done. It all works and looks pretty; I just need to add some more text and I may attempt to show it unlocking every time you’ve experienced a new ending. We’ll see… As you’ve heard by now; I find coding difficult.

Right is the ending gallery on the neighbourhood background, which I haven’t shared anywhere online yet! You can see where I still need to add text, though. The loading icons on the phone are the locked endings that you haven’t experienced yet. When you click on the unlocked ones, it replays the defining moment of that play-through. It’s all pretty nifty.

After I recruited some play-testers last week, I realised I totally needed more animations! So it pushed the game back a little bit again (wupps!) but seriously, it’s looking so much better for it now! Here’s a shocked expression (left).

This is just one of four newly added animations, and part of it at that. The others are endings which I refuse to spoil!
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My to-do list is now getting very small, but alas, it does still exist. I’m still QAing and making a few script edits here and there. There are simply so many variables that it’s gotten really difficult to keep on track of them all and ensure they all make sense together. I also need to add another track of music, a couple of sound effects and prepare the final build for launch. Part of this means compressing the game down, which I did today: I shaved off approximately 150mb, which is over half of the original size! Crazy stuff, but it still looks great and runs smoother than ever. I heard that the NaNoRenO version crashed on some older/ slower computers so I wanted to fix that.

I want to shout-out to the folks who’ve been sending wonderful messages about ONS over the last few months and asking when the full version is coming out… Thank you so much for your interest and being so patient! Your messages are very welcome. Please continue to send them to indie developers as they help our morale more than you’d believe. I even saw my first ever fan art last week, which was amazing!
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Anyway, I’ll leave you with a “behind the scenes” video I made back in May. I completely forgot to share it in the blog… The sprites are a little out of date now, but it briefly shows the process I used to create the rotoscoped animations. I hope you find it enjoyable :)