Happy New Year everyone! 6 years ago today, I started this adventure making my own indie games. I can't believe I've been doing this longer than any other job I've had, and I'm grateful I'm still able to do it :) However, it's been several months since I last updated you all on what I'm doing which I apologise for, though 2020 certainly was a year, huh? I thought 2019 was bad enough when several things went wrong for me, including my health nosediving into the unknown, but 2020 certainly took the biscuit. I think everyone is happy to see the end it, even though 2021 may not prove to be any better...

Anyway, every new year, I typically write a post about what I enjoyed over the last year. I'll be doing that again here, although it's taken me a considerable amount of energy to write or do anything creative recently. 

I've felt burnt out for over a year now. Once again, I took on too much work for myself alone and have had to act in several roles. Previously, when I got tired of work, I would switch to something else; Done too much art? Focus on programming. Done too much programming? Focus on writing. Done too much writing? Focus on audio. But this time, I have exhausted everything and I know I need a serious creative break after my next game is released. It doesn't help that everyone has been unable to travel most of 2020, as travel typically helps me recharge my creative energy. However, to combat this burn out, I hired some help, took staycations, and even took a trip out to the remote German countryside to escape the city. I took time off over Christmas to rest and relax, too, but it's hard to properly relax when friend's get sick, their parents die, governments continue to be incompetent etc etc. Everything has been so much harder in the last 9 months, and it's amazing simply surviving it.

I haven't seen my family or friends in person for 9 months now, but we've been playing games online and doing what we can to stay in touch. Things are bad, but not too bad. I try to remind myself every day just how lucky I am to be working at home doing what I love. Hopefully, with vaccines now being rolled out, we can start thinking about the future again.

2020 meant a lot of us stayed inside: We were able to catch up on the shows, films, books and games on our lists, and still have time spare to revisit our favourites. So, here's my list of what I caught my attention throughout the year, in the hopes some of you may find something new which you can enjoy, too!

I was super late to this party, but when Netflix brought back ATLA, I figured I'd finally watch it to see what all the fuss was about. Oh. My. God. My favourite thing of 2020 was watching this classic – I had such a blast and couldn't stop watching it! So, when it was over, I immediately jumped on to The Legend of Korra, though sadly I wasn't into it anywhere near as much as ATLA and found it a bit of a slog...Still, I can't wait to rewatch ATLA again (since by husband bought me the blu-ray boxset! <3 ) and get into the comics! (Oh, and I need to draw some Zuko fan art at some point!)

Don't do what I did and skip this gem because it's a kids cartoon or from Nickelodeon or whatever – get on it!

13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim was probably my favourite game of the year. I say "probably" because I was agonising for weeks whether it was this or Paradise Killer. They're both joint firsts, I think, but 13 Sentinels made me cry and got me drawing fan art again, so perhaps it has the edge.

I don't know where to start about why I like this game...The art, the music, the story, the characters...Everything is good.

13 Sentinels is an ambitious sci-fi story which is somewhat like a collection of every sci-fi plot you can think of, with so many twists and turns it feels like you're going deeper and deeper down a rabbit hole. The ending was also pleasant, being extremely hopeful for mankind (which was comforting in 2020) and, unlike so many games these days, didn't feel like corners had been cut.

13 Sentinels is the first Vanillaware game I've played (everyone seemed to assume I was a big fan of theirs because I kept raving about this), but now I want to check out their other titles. You heard it from me: You do not need to be a Vanillaware fan to play this game.

Anyway, I'm glad 13 Sentinels performed well for Vanillaware in the West and is continuing to get picked up by more and more players. However, it's an easy game to spoil so I won't say anymore about it. Best to go in with little knowledge and try it for yourself.

I got to spend about 35-40 hours with 13 Sentinels. In contrast, Paradise Killer took me around 12-14 hours to complete. However, in less time, it gave me just as much enjoyment. Paradise Killer in an incredible game. I had such a blast with it and enjoyed exploring the whole island so I could find every clue possible...and I'm rarely a completionist.

Unlike most detective games, PK is non-linear and open-ended – In the final trial, you can accuse whoever you feel like. Of course, if you find everything, more evidence points to certain people, but your own judgement can be swayed by the order you found clues or whether or not you felt attached to any of the characters. I ended up sentencing a character I really liked to death because I believed they were guilty. It plays with your own morals and sense of judgement, and I liked that a lot.

​The coolest thing in PK, besides the banging soundtrack which I cannot stop listening to, is probably the world itself. The lore, the demons, the gods, the clear Japanese and American influences, even a Shiba-Inu...! It's all perfectly thought out and the best game world I've visited in several years. I honestly felt upset having to leave the 24th Island Sequence, though I hope there will be a sequel in future where we can visit Perfect 25!

Here's another game with a vaporwave-like aesthetic, this time mixed with art deco and Instagram filters. Holovista is an AR game on iOS, set in a near future's Instagram-like app. The pre-rendered backgrounds we see throughout the game are some of the most stunning artworks I have ever seen in a video game, and it's clear these visuals were designed by a team who've worked in theatre, art and photography, rather than just video games. Again, like PK, the world's aesthetic is strong and you really feel as though you're being transported somewhere else.

Holovista's story critiques the effects of social media on our mental health, though I personally wanted it to go deeper on this than it did. The ending felt quite abrupt too, but, all in all, it was a different gaming experience which I recommend everyone experience.

I read a lot of manga throughout the year, but the stand out for me was BL: Metamorphosis. BL:M is a story about two Boy's Love fans who form a friendship through their shared love of BL. However, one is a high school student and part-time bookseller who knows all the latest BL, whilst the other is an elderly widowed woman (Ichinoi) who's just getting into BL.

I have a soft spot for elderly women trying new things like BL or video games, and then getting involved in the fandom or starting their own YouTube channels...For me, it's seriously heart-warming. I also hope that one day I will be a nerdy old lady like that, too, but what's so refreshing reading about this kind of thing is how age can affect your ability to enjoy such hobbies. Ichinoi is invited to a comic convention but has trouble waiting in line due to her legs and often needs to sit down.

Another moment which struck me was when Ichinoi was calculating how long it would take the manga-ka to finish the BL she was reading. She realised there's a good chance she maybe dead by the time the story is finished, something perhaps creators don't consider when working on their projects. BL:M sounds like a downer when I type out scenes like that, but Kaori Tsurutani delivers these lines so nonchalantly, it evokes empathy and warmth with the character.

Again, you don't have to be a BL fan to enjoy this one! Check it out.

Mushi-Shi is an anime that has been on my watch list for many years, and because of being stuck inside much of the last year, I was finally able to watch it. Mushi-Shi is a quiet, slowly paced, episodic anime, quite different from typical seinen (for men) shows. In it, we follow Ginko; a master of Mushi (primitive, ubiquitous creatures), wandering through a 19th century Japan and treating the various ailments caused by them.

What I liked most about this show were the very real, human stories set in a fantastical, historic Japan. It was fascinating to see how each person reacted to their or their family member's illness/ good fortune caused by the Mushi.

Mushi-Shi was another piece of entertainment I encountered in 2020 with a strong, well thought-out world and aesthetic. Most episodes are melancholic, so I took my time watching it, but each episode has some of the best animation I've ever seen for a TV series. There was also a strange comfort watching a gentle show about ailments, virus-like creatures and epidemics in a year where they were really relevant.

I branched out a little with my anime this year...Shortly after watching Mushi-Shi, I started Mob Psycho 100. I'm not particularly fond of shonen (for boys) anime, but MP100 was a lot of fun, mainly because of it's fantastic cast of characters and cool animation (by studio Bones).

I was surprised when I learnt the first series was only 12 episodes long (I thought it was an anime with 50+ episodes or something) because there are so many characters! Yet, each character is perfectly introduced and understood even with their limited screen time.

My favourite moments tended to be at the start of each season; seeing Mob interact at school, trying his best to work out, getting duped by Reigen, being generally socially awkward, whilst seeing small glimpses of his awesome psychic powers. Towards the end of each season, the show goes fully shonen, and I found it a little dull/ tropey. Less time was spent with Mob and Reigen, who, in my opinion, are the strength of the show, and more time spent on enemies and fights...Though, I'll admit, some of the fights were pretty awesome and even I felt pumped! But my favourite parts of MP100 were whenever Mob was being super sweet. He's a character who's impossible to not love. Now, I want to draw Mob and Reigen fan art, hehe!

Games about death seem to be in fashion right now. There's Spiritfarer, I Am Dead and Necrobarista (just to name a few), but the latter really made me feel for the characters and question my thoughts around death and mortality. I know a game about death might seem like the last thing you'd want to experience in 2020 but, like all good stories around death, Necrobarista is actually hopeful, sweet and full of love.

I first played Necrobarista for IGF judging a few years ago, so it was an early build which, at the time, left little impression on me, but I decided to try it again when the final version released. Whilst playing, I was surprised at just how much it had changed. Necrobarista still has some weak moments, but overall it's a stylish game, extremely unique, and both happy and sad. It's a linear visual novel, with few choices or player input, but the camera shots and music make for a great experience and, if I'm honest, I preferred staying closer to the narrative, than wasting my time on mini-games and simulations. I also appreciated the setting (Melbourne, Australia) and culture around it, with tooltips on what certain Australian phrases mean. Another game which did this in 2020 was If Found, which is set in Ireland, and this trend is something I'd like to see more of in games. It makes a refreshing change to learn about different cultures and language usages outside the US.

"Oh-oo-oh! It's Bugsnax!" – Those are the lyrics to Kero Kero Bonito's song which I haven't been able to get out of my head since last Summer! Bugsnax is a "cute" adventure game where you collect Bugsnax (kinda bug, kinda snack), feed them to local residents, help the residents, take photographs, and uncover the mysteries of Snaktooth island. I was very excited about this game as the premise sounded bizarre, yet different and "cute". I keep writing "cute" with inverted commas because it felt like there was always something iffy about Snaktooth island...Some kind of dark undertone to what was actually going on. This seemed to catch some players off-guard, assuming it was just a wholesome, kids game, but I liked that it went to a weird, darker place later on.

Whilst playing, I experienced a few bugs (har har) and often caught the bugsnax with luck alone, so I often didn't feel like I really earnt my catch. However, Bugsnax has some great, lovable characters and hilarious moments. My favourite characters were Snorpy and Chandlo as they're complete opposites but both love and care about each other deeply. Actually, there are more gay couples in Bugsnax than straight, and I feel like no-one has pointed that out which is a bit of a shame since I think it should be celebrated for great representation, especially in a "kids" game.

Anyway, Bugsnax made me feel like a kid again; whether that's because of the N64 vibe (it's a lot like Pokémon Snap), the silly characters or the "cute" critters, I don't know...but I do know it felt good to feel like that in 2020.

Haven is a (optional) couch co-op game which I played with my husband. You play a couple who have escaped to Source –a fragmented, previously inhabited planet– so they can be together. It's a gorgeous game with a fantastic soundtrack by Danger, who did Furi's OST. However, the controls make the game a little less fun, and the story's pacing is all over the place. The characters barely grow, too, which is a little disappointing, but I wanted to talk about Haven because, despite these issues, I found it inspiring. Couch co-op games have always been a favourite of mine, yet so few exist these days, but what makes Haven different is it's about a couple. Off the top of my head, I cannot think of another game where you play a couple in love...It's refreshing and pleasing to see. Also, this couple is straight, and I feel there aren't many straight couples in games who actually like each other or are explored beyond the initial getting together phase. In Haven, we see Kay and Yu always talking to one-another, holding each other as they fall asleep, cooking together, regaining health from hugs and kisses...and it's all beautiful. I won't say that their chemistry is anything particularly special; many lines of dialogue are relatable but rather tropey, yet it was still refreshing to see a couple trying to work together to survive on an unknown planet. Moments where Kay and Yu get intimate even felt a little uncomfortable, like we shouldn't be there, though I'm always impressed when a game pushes boundaries like that. The voice acting was superb, too, and brought both characters to life. Having been stuck inside most of the year with my husband, it was nice to see another couple getting by in their isolation and discussing amongst themselves if they're able to cope being cut off from everyone. Anyway, I recommend Haven if you enjoy seeing romance in games or enjoy Toejam and Earl – It's basically Toejam and Earl but they're in love.

Lastly, I rewatched my favourite anime: Revolutionary Girl Utena. I won't talk too much about it, as I'm sure I've mentioned why I love it a thousand times already, but I was finally able to buy a region 2(!!) box set and officially watch it! Seriously, I've had to cope with poor quality limewire files I downloaded over 15 years ago up until this point! Why are my favourite shows so difficult to find? >_< Anyway, I had such a good time revisiting it, I drew another fan art, this time of Utena in her coffin (see right).

Every time I watch RGU, I spot something new or finally figure out what something means. It's such a symbolic show and can be interpreted in a variety of ways, which is a huge reason I love returning to it. For example, unlike many of RGU's fans, I'm not lesbian, so I don't particularly see sexual tension between Anthy and Utena. However, as I a gray-ace, what I do see is pure-ace or platonic love, instead, but whatever your orientation, it's clear Utena loves Anthy throughout the show and does everything she can for her. Everyone's interpretations of this show are valid, and there's a beauty in keeping things symbolic and vague so it can reach a wider audience.

Each time I watch RGU, Utena seems more and more naive and foolish, but that doesn't make her unlikeable in the slightest – Many of us are naive and foolish when it comes to society's influence on us, in particular patriarchy's. To me, it's always enjoyable to see Utena (and the other characters) slowly wake up to this throughout the show...Not everyone wants to revolutionise the world as Utena eventually does. Some aspire to uphold the patriarchy and others wish entirely that miracles would cease to exist.

As I keep saying throughout this post, please do not miss this because you think it's not for you. My husband also loves RGU because it's deep, dark and complex, and he barely likes anime. There's a lot going on in RGU for everyone. For me, I love the message that you're valid even if you don't adhere to society's norms – Girls can be strong, but they don't need cast aside their femininity or play by patriarchy's rules in order to be so.

There were many other things I enjoyed throughout the year (Hades, Animal Crossing: New Horizons, Among Us), though I felt these have been covered much better by more people, so I wanted to talk about things you may have missed. Also, there were a load of games and shows I didn't get around to in time. For example, I'm still playing Yakuza: Like a Dragon and rewatching Sailor Moon and The Demon Headmaster (hello my 90s), though I feel these are all things I'd be talking about if I'd finished them before the year end!

However, before I sign off, I want to do a final shout out to my gaming moment of the year which was from Final Fantasy VII Remake. I know...FF7 Remake. Me. If you've read my previous blog post, you may be confused as to why my favourite gaming moment of the year was in FF7 Remake, but the moment you reach the third phase of the Jenova battle, the music drops and all my love for the the original game resurfaced, giving me goosebumps over my entire body. It was something special, even if it was mostly through the power of nostalgia.

As for game development, I am planning on a formal announcement for my next game real soon. In the past, I have said too much, too soon, so I don't want to make that mistake again. I just thank you for sticking with me and being so patient!

If you don't want to miss the next update, you can subscribe to the newsletter below:

As several countries are once again going into lockdown, everyone please look after yourselves and stay safe! We'll get through this together.

Best wishes for 2021!

Okay. This is going to be a long post but there are a lot of words I need to get out of my system...

It's no surprise to my followers that Final Fantasy VII is my favourite game of all time. I doubt there will ever be anything to knock it from that spot, too, as FF7 came into my life at the pivotal age of 11 years old – I was reaching the end of my childhood, entering adolescence and becoming the adult I am today.

When I finished FF7 for the first time, I remember feeling lost and alone. The characters and world I'd spent so much time with were gone, the story was finished and the music I'd fallen in love with had stopped playing. I didn't know what to do with myself apart from play it again, but I knew it wouldn't be the same as that first time, and I couldn't exactly keep replaying it the rest of my life.

Two things happened; the first being my introduction to anime. After completing FF7, I came across a music video animated by Studio 4°C (The Bluetones - 4 day weekend) and I realised it had a similar art style and theme. After some research, I learned that this was called anime and made in Japan, so I researched into it via the early internet. I stumbled across Sailor Moon, Tokimeki Memorial (which I still haven't played!) and even learnt about the sequel to FF7: Final Fantasy 8. Then Pokémon took over the planet and soon everyone knew was anime was, but it's obvious through my work and art style that Japanese animation has had a huge influence on me, and it started with FF7.

I first discovered FF7 through my brother, as his friend lent him a copy of the game for PC (yup, we played a pirated version...) and I sat to watch him play. However, my brother was busy studying for his exams at the time and didn't play as much as I wanted to. Eventually, I decided to start my own game and played it on his PC before he came home from college. I even roped in my best friend and we ended up defeating Sephiroth long before he did. Yet, despite all this, when I completed the game for the first time, I somehow felt like I had no-one to share it with – That no-one got it the same way I did. My brother didn't finish it for many years and my friend preferred The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, though I think the loneliness I felt also had something to do with my parents: I wanted them to experience this wonderful story which I found life-changing, but they don't play games at all. So, the second thing that happened once I completed FF7 was me literally praying that the creators make a movie of FF7. Everyone, even my parents, watches movies.

I'll never forget how polar-opposite we were in that moment. He was overjoyed that Shenmue 3 was finally happening, whilst I was devastated FF7 was getting a remake. My fears had come true: The "fans" were getting what they want.

However, in the last couple of years leading up to Remake's release, Square Enix showed us trailers and promotional art of the game, and I can't deny that they gave me goosebumps. Nostalgia is a powerful force, especially now as the world feels so bleak – What I wouldn't give to be that carefree 11 year old again – So, I decided to give Remake a go. After all, I needed to play it for myself to be able to have an opinion on it.

FF7 Remake finally released on April 10th 2020, and I was there immediately. I vowed to work that day, but by lunchtime, I found myself back in Midgar, taking my very first steps in the reimagined world. For the first 30 minutes, I was in love: The music was great, the graphics were stunning, and I found myself walking around just staring at all the environmental detail. Pipes, crates and ladders have never been so interesting.

Once out, we see the plate is going to be dropped above Sector 7. We rush to Avalanche's aid, and since we spent more time with them, their deaths were actually quite upsetting this time around...Although, not to sound heartless, but feeling sad for these guys wasn't really what FF7's story was about. Cloud simply does his job and shrugs death off at this stage of the original story. Only when Aerith dies, does he truly understand what loss is.

Anyway, Aerith gets taken away by the turks soon after and Cloud and Co want to rescue her. The momentum you feel during this stage in FF7 is fired with anger and passion. In Remake, you return to Don Corneo's sewers, fight the same boss again, spend time chasing its spawn all around the place, then hear a lame story about a new, boring, straight-outta-Kingdom Hearts character, full of cheesy tropes and adding absolutely nothing of value. It's here I started to dislike Remake again. It's the "Nomura" effect.

When you do eventually climb up to the plate, it's a fully fleshed out "dungeon" and takes plenty of time. Again, this added to the scale of Midgar and I didn't mind it, although, again, puzzles were replaced with combat.

Arriving at Shinra Headquarters feels pretty cool, although, as many hours had passed since Aerith was taken away, you have to try and remind yourself why you're there. Walking into the place, there is absolutely no-one around. The funny Barret moments of him running in, shooting and threatening everyone were gone. As I mentioned earlier, I can see why they decided to change this, but it didn't stop the HQ from feeling oddly empty.

I took the stairs to reach the top of the building and I'm so glad I did as the banter was hilarious. Barret acts like a little kid, and I found myself warming to him so much more by the end of it. Once at floor 60, there are a few keycard puzzles, though way less than the original game. There was no sneaking around the air vents to win rare items or library mini-games. However, we got given a Shinra tour and learnt all about the company instead. It was nice to see their cars, advertisements and mission objectives in a little more detail. My favourite part was the 4D cinema experience where Shinra introduces the ancients and the promised land...It was making me fall for Remake again.

Once on floor 65, after spying on the executives meeting, you do not need to do anymore puzzles for keycards. It's straight into Hojo's lab, reuniting with Aerith and meeting Red XIII.

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD (Seriously, if you haven't played Remake and want to, I would stop reading here.)

Hojo's idea of breeding the two is no longer here as it's another odd story beat from the original which wouldn't work with Remake's realism. Still, it changes the scene and makes meeting Red XIII feel a little pointless. Introducing him at the end of the game also meant that he is not playable, though he helps a little in battle.

Then, instead of getting imprisoned as in the original, the party run around fighting for Hojo's "experiments". I won't lie, it felt like a lame excuse to pad out the game with even more fighting, especially since you're stuck in the drum for what felt like hours afterwards. The prison down time, chatting to the characters and getting to know them a little more, is now replaced by visiting Aerith's childhood bedroom. I enjoyed seeing this, but I really missed waking up in the night to see the trail of blood leading out of the open prison door. FF7 was ocassionally scary and I loved it for this. In comparison, Remake's trail of blood isn't even red, nor does the music play until you're right outside President Shinra's office...And guess what? He's not even dead.

This is when Remake starts really getting weird, and the whispers return to flood the building. Red XIII had just described them as "arbiters of fate", meaning they force fate to run on its intended path i.e. the original game's story. "OH! That's what they are!" I realised. So whenever the whispers had shown up in the past, it meant that they were forcing the original game to play out exactly as before. That's why they push Wedge out of the building and kill him soon after. Okay...but why now? And why didn't they show up every time there was a deviation from the original?

Sephiroth also appears in the President's office (because he's got nothing better to do than torment Cloud these days, it seems) and actually stabs Barret in the chest! "NOOO!" I screamed, as I'd come to love him even more than in the original game, but after a random fight with Jenova, the whispers bring him back to life, showing that this is not how this plays out. "Are they the fans expecting things to be just so?" Whilst I applaud Remake for trying to be so bold, it adds drama for stupid reasons: Why show Barret die only to bring him back a few minutes later? It's to show that the REAL story of Remake is these characters wanting to define their own fates, not, y'know, the actual story of FF7 we loved. It's like my final year University project all over again (I've taken it off YouTube because the standard does not live up to my work today, but it was an animation about a video game character who became self-aware and wished to oppose his fate and escape the world of the game). I understand that meta seems cool and edgy and is in vogue, but it doesn't automatically make for a good story. I'd argue that meta is something us video game designers feel the need to get out of our system when we're young and anti-establishment. I don't feel it belongs in FF7. Besides, Remake differed from the original a lot already, so why didn't they just run with that and remove all the whisper nonsense? The result would have been a better game.

I'm sure you can tell, I'm full of mixed feelings regarding Final Fantasy 7 Remake. I think creators should only take fan/ player feedback where it makes sense and keep maintain their creative freedom, but changing the ending of an already-established game, right at the end of it, almost makes all those hours leading up to it a big troll for loyal fans (and is probably sucky for newcomers, too). Considering my feelings leading up to Remake's launch, it was incredible that I actually warmed up to it and enjoyed the fleshed out parts of the game. To have these turned around on me by the end...I just feel confused about everything regarding this game. As a game developer myself, I understand Square Enix's perspective: They had a vision and didn't want to compromise on it to make what the fans think they wanted. Still, the best moments were when the developers were creative in exciting yet subtle ways, fleshing out Midgar and adding background to the characters. It's as though Remake was trying to be two things: a faithful remake and a meta game about remakes.

Remake ends where the original game truly begins. It shouldn't be an ending to the original story, only the start of it...but, in actuality, it's now an ending. They say it's about the journey and not the ending, so it shouldn't change how I enjoyed parts of the game leading up to it but, looking back, it has. What's the point of certain things happening if this is the real story? I just don't know.

The weirdest part of this is people playing this without ever touching FF7 before. For the first 35 hours, I didn't think it mattered and would have happily recommended it to newcomers but I can't say this since the ending. It must make so little sense, and again, I'm worried it'll leave a sour taste in player's mouths. FF7 is about saving the planet and the philosophy of life, but since Remake doesn't get that far, new players will think it's about this Sephiroth guy causing headaches with the spikey-haired jerk, who's just fed-up and emo...and there's a random cat...and then they fight their fate for some reason...Did they all just want Barret to die after all, is that it? Ultimately, Remake has been fighting with itself over what it wants to be. I just hope people will decide to check out the original and not forget it exists. Like remakes of beloved films, I believe FF7 is still an important piece of gaming history and shouldn't be forgotten.

Still, I did enjoy my time with Remake and felt sad when it was over, though nothing close to how I felt defeating FF7 22 years ago. As I mentioned earlier, I want to replay Remake when the dust has settled (and a photo mode is added!) but the ending has left a bitter taste in my mouth. I guess my feelings will decide where they want to land once we know what's in store for the rest of the remakes, if there will even be any. Remake's ending could very easily be the story they've just shown, since the characters have freed themselves from the arbiters of fate (and Sephiroth even got beat up). Why do they need to return then? Are Jenova and Hojo really such a great threat anymore? Whilst Square Enix have set themselves up to do whatever they want after Remake, doing so doesn't make much sense anymore. What's the point? It's done.

For me, the saddest thing is that even I grew to love parts of Remake and found myself thinking "They've only gone and pulled it off!", which I would've never thought. Yet, doing a simple remake wasn't the whole team's goal...It's not very "Final Fantasy" to make something as uncreative as a direct remake, which is why I can't be too mad at the ending...BUT THERE WAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL! I honestly believe it could've been an astonishing game if it stayed closer to the original work. No more Nomura, that's what I say! *SHAKES FIST AT CLOUD*

​Despite what you may think of my slightly negative review, I'm happy that Remake exists and everyone is talking about FF7. Even those who don't plan to play Remake at all are revisiting the world of FF7 right now and admiring just how amazing it is. Young me would be chuffed that I've found so many people who love this game as much as me. My real wish was to find connections to people who loved this game like I do, and thanks to Remake, I have.

...Also, I would die for Moogle kid. Just sayin'.

Hey, if you've read this far, thank you! Most of my free time for the last month has been spent writing all this hahaha... Then I saw Dunky's FF7 Remake review and realised we pretty much share the same opinions (apart from Jessie). Check it out, it's very funny:

I hope lockdown is going okay for you and you and your families and happy and healthy. It's a tough time for us all but I believe we will get through it if we are patient and kind to ourselves and others.

Game development is steadily coming along, though it has been tough to focus some days recently. Hopefully, I will have a lot of stuff to show you real soon! Until then, stay home, stay safe and maybe give FF7 Remake a play ;-)

Hello everyone. I just wanted to update you all on Memories' (working title) development during this difficult time. Firstly, myself and my family are doing well: Goro is still getting his daily walks, my husband now works at home (making my daily life a little less lonely) and my routine is pretty much unaffected. Actually, I'm probably doing better with someone else around as it's helping my productivity and I find myself working longer hours than I did before. Of course, some days it's difficult to focus...but we're in a crisis and I'm not going to beat myself up over getting distracted by the news and panicking for a couple of hours a week.

I got married in the beginning of March (yay!) and had my birthday last Sunday (hurray!)...and it's been weird trying to be happy when it feels like everything is up in flames around you, but I believe we can still find happiness in times of darkness and we should try to keep our moods up now more than ever. Also, Animal Crossing helps!

However, I know many people are in much less fortunate positions than I am right now, which is why I'm offering One Night Stand for free on PC, Mac and Linux for those who're experiencing financial difficulties. Just write me an email or contact me on Twitter or Facebook and I'll send you a key. It's not much but it's something. I believe we all have to try and help each other however we can right now, even if that's just by staying home.

Anyway, since returning from my wedding, Memories has come a long way. Christmas, New Year, trips home, bureaucracy and wedding planning slowed me down the first two months of the year, but now I'm plowing through tasks like the Plow King shovels snow. I finally set my Trello board to good use and got it working for myself. I've made lists of jobs for each area of the game: programming, memory artwork, present day artwork, sound effects, editing tasks etc. I was finding myself lost every Monday morning, unsure of what to tackle each week, whilst now I can see everything clearly and bash on with it. I've done so much present day exploration artwork recently so I'd like to share some with you:

Note: These are in development and subject to edits.

Programming and UI are coming along nicely too: I've recently added some jigsaw puzzle-like games, keypad locks, button hovers and screen pans. Sound and music is a little behind, but I'm slowly adding sound effects on the more-finished scenes. Also, most of the new artwork I've drawn is in and working too.

Next up is finishing the exploration artwork and implementing it all – Seriously, you can search for so much stuff in this game, it's crazy! – followed by more sound effects, ongoing editing and programming. There are a few memories left than need artwork too, so once the next round of edits is done, I'll be starting that, wrapping up almost all of the remaining artwork!

It's still a few months away from being completed, but Memories is coming along nicely. I really hope I can continue this productivity whilst we're in lockdown and get the game out before Autumn hits! That's my goal but this is game development and she tends to have different plans ;-)

Everyone, thank you for reading this post! Please take care and check in with loved ones during this difficult time. Remember to stay inside and stay safe! I'll be back with more updates as I get closer to finishing the game soon! Until then!

Well, we're a week into 2020 now so it's about time I finished my list. I hope you get the chance to check out some of my recommendations!

Ahh, I loved this game! Eliza (named after the natural language conversation program created at MIT's AI laboratory) is a visual novel by Zachtronics about an AI counselling program, the people who use it and the people who develop it.

You play as Evelyn, who's reconnecting with old colleagues and studying Eliza in practice. There are many choices about the morality of the program and how it should be used in future. It's harrowing on one hand, but hopeful on the other. The story is enjoyable and well written, enhanced by its perfect voice acting. (And, whilst writing this blog post, Eliza has also been nominated for two IGF awards, including the grand prize!)

Oof...I don't know where to start with Fire Emblem: Three Houses. It is a huge game and my favourite of last year! I'll try and keep this post short...

I guess I'll start with the house I chose first: Golden Deer. For some reason, during the weeks leading up to release, I was stressing out about who to pick! My fiancé picked my first choice (Blue Lions) but we wanted to see how the routes differed...So I considered GD but assumed that was the hardcore route. I wasn't as interested in Black Eagles, either, and...Edelgard... *stares daggers at her*

(Spoilers ahead)

Claude won me over with his speech at the beginning as he did for many. To me, GD was the overall story route: You find out the most about the world, Byleth, Sothis, Rhea and "those who sliver in the dark". That's not to say the other routes are pointless; rather they tend to focus on more human matters. My second playthrough was with the Blue Lions, and the story focussed on Dimitri's revenge wish and redemption. As much as I loved Claude, Dimitri was my favourite character...He was so interesting to follow and watch grow. However, both voice actors did a tremendous job. Chris Hackney (Dimitri) plays the wonderful, soft, princely Dimitri perfectly, and the crazed, bloodthirsty Dimitri, well, perfectly. Joe Zieja (Claude) does a brilliant job too, as both serious and jokey Claude – It's clear he absolutely loved his role.

Now then, I'm pretty biased, aren't I? I haven't played Black Eagles yet. However, since my BL playthrough, I'm intrigued to find out what Edelgard's deal is. I've already spent over 140 hours on Three Houses and I'm looking forward to getting back into it, but there are some parts of the game that drag for me...In particular, the monastery part.

The first time I played Three Houses, I love the monastery life sim/ social link aspects. It borrows from games like Persona and adds those elements to the Fire Emblem series, which works surprisingly well. However, when the first half of the game contains pretty much the exact same content no matter which route you're on, it gets pretty boring on a second playthrough. The same items are lost, fish still need to be caught, flowers grown etc. Of course, there is an option to skip this, and there's new game+, too (where you can use points to speed up the process), but still, your party will be weaker if you skip and don't spend any time here. (I wanna get all the characters and ship them, so...)

Three Houses doesn't have the same dating mechanic as Awakening or Fates, but it's not necessarily a bad thing. There are so many characters, I just enjoyed watching their support conversations, which I doubt I'll ever fully see as there are just too many options! For my first playthrough, I romanced Claude (as many did) and, on my second, I was gunning for Dimitri, but when I saw his and Marianne's support, I just had to ship them! I gave him up for her because Marianne is precious and they both seemed like they understood each other (Please, give me a medal for my sacrifice!). I recruited Ignatz and dated him instead, correcting my mistake from my first playthrough (damn you, flirty Claude!). However, Ignatz is so much like me, it was like dating myself which was weird.

Apart from Byleth (the silent protagonist), the characters in Three Houses were all really good. I feel like everyone is like someone in that game. I'm like a venn diagram of Ignatz, Bernadetta, Marianne and Ingrid. I loved Dorothea, Dedue, Ashe, Raphael, Hilda, Cyril, as well. I hated Lorenz and Sylvain for being such flirts, but they both made me laugh a lot, too. The support conversation between female Byleth and Lorenz is one of my favourites: "Yes, there have been very many real complaints made against you from the female students!" And she has to keep repeating this fact because Lorenz can't fathom why the girls wouldn't find him charming. Haha!

Fire Emblem: Three Houses wasn't just downright fun and I can't wait until the time is right to play the final Black Eagles house!

Better Call Saul is incredible. I'm not the biggest Breaking Bad fan; though I respect the show, it's not particularly entertaining for me, but Better Call Saul mostly ditches the gritty drug story for a courtroom drama. Of course, it's an origin story for Saul Goodman from Breaking Bad, so crimes and naughtiness are afoot, but the focus is on Saul (known at this point as Jimmy) and his relationship with his older brother, Chuck, and friend/partner, Kim.

Since it's a spin-off, I put off watching Better Call Saul for years...but when I watched the first episode, I couldn't stop. I said Fleabag was my favourite show of the year, but I'm tempted to say this was, too – It's just so intense! For me, this is mainly down to the acting. Bob Odenkirk is amazing in this show and I was stunned watching him express so many emotions throughout. I empathised with him many times throughout and loved his character even more. Everyone's favourite, Mike (Jonathan Banks), also returns, and new characters (Kim especially) were really fleshed out and just as likeable as the established ones. I enjoyed Jimmy and Kim's relationship as it's not the stereotypical heterosexual relationship: They both put business first and maintain their own sense of independence, which I relate to.

Better Call Saul is full of exciting twists and turns and I can't wait until season 5 comes out later this year. Don't sleep on this show like I did!

My Roommate is a Cat is an accurate depiction of my everyday working life with Goro. Simply replace the word cat with dog and author to indie dev and it's me.

The protagonist, Mikazuki Subaru, is socially anxious and lives alone. He struggles with any relationships and likes to close himself off from the outside world, but a little cat who was dumped by humans comes into his life. This cat is tough and learned to look after herself, so from both angles, there are characters trying to form a relationship with each other.

Caring for a pet, when you've only needed to think about yourself most of your life, comes as a shock. I had pets when I was younger, but I had a 15 year petless gap before I got Goro...Plus, I'd never ever had a dog before. I spent months trying to adjust, sometimes despairing thinking that I couldn't manage him, but with time I coped. I slowly learnt that there's joy in looking after something other than yourself. Feeling needed.

These feelings are difficult when you're not only used to being petless, but used to being alone and are bad at socialising. Like Subaru, I have social anxiety. Sometimes, it's just easier to not see anyone and recluse...I totally get where he's coming from. Plus, he wants/needs to work on his writing but keep getting distracted and stressed by the little cat that needs him. I totally relate! It takes time to adjust, but I'm so glad we both did.

Our Dreams at Dusk focuses around Tasuku Kaname, a gay teenager who has just been outed for having gay porn on his phone. He's about to commit suicide, when he sees a woman jump from a building on a cliff edge. When he discovers the building, the woman is there unharmed. It turns out the building is a drop-in center for LGBT people, who renovate houses in the town. Through them, he slowly learns to accept his sexuality.

Our Dreams at Dusk is beautifully drawn and serious in tone. Whilst there is value in light-hearted gay stories, like Yuri on Ice!! and Steven Universe, being LGBT comes with challenges which should be discussed as well. I imagine this manga will really help those who're struggling to feel accepted in the world.

​KUUKIYOMI is a relatively short ​game, with options to play co-op. You play quick scenes (WarioWare style) where you have to consider the right thing to do. There are over 100 scenarios: Some are everyday things, like moving aside to let people sit down, whilst others are hilarious or downright cruel! I don't want to spoil them, but I was speechless for a few of them...How could the developers even go there?

For the short time I spent with KUUKIYOMI, I left feeling inspired. It makes a game out of social cues in such a simple, smart way. I'd love to make a game like it one day!

KUUKIYOMI is short and cheap, so you should pick it up yourself and give it a go!

How not to be a Boy is a funny autobiography by Robert Webb, yet it also questions the harmful sides of masculinity; how rules such as "drink beer", "don't cry" and "love sport" don't bring anything positive to society. He takes us through his own childhood and adolescence, describing the pressures he felt to not be who he really was (Hmm, I'm being to see a theme with my list this year...). It's something I relate to a lot, being a woman interested in "typically male" fields such as video games, programming, having my own business etc. I have struggled and continue to struggle with pressures to conform to the gender binary and become what is expected of a typical woman. Well, Webb and I say screw that!
​
I enjoyed reading every page of How not to be a Boy. It's hilarious but also heartbreaking. Truth be told, I'm not much of a Peep Show fan, but now I really like Webb; He's brutally honest and open but, above all, a brilliant story-teller. I wish I had the memory and skill to recount my past the way he did. Reading through, I could see the flip-side of the struggles I faced whilst growing up and, really, what is it for?

I literally saw one tweet with screenshots from this show and was sold. O Maidens of Your Savage Season is an anime series based on its manga. The show is about a group of school girls in the literature club, and I know what you're thinking: "Yawn. School anime". The thing is, O Maidens is actually the most realistic school anime I've seen. We follow the girls and their different grips on puberty and sexuality. First, there's Kazusa (the protagonist): A romantic but somewhat shy or unsure about sex, maybe even on the asexual spectrum. Then there's Niina, who was harassed as a child (groomed, even) and isn't particularly interested in boys, until she falls for Izumi. Izumi is Kazusa's childhood friend (and crush) and they both start noticing the differences between their bodies as they grow up. Momoko is another girl in the club who feels confused as she has a crush on Niina and wonders if she is lesbian. Hitoha writes erotic novels but is told by her publisher that her stories sound like they're written by a 40 year old male virgin, so she desires life experience, meeting up with a guy from an online chatroom. Rika is the club president and very uptight about sex because of her upbringing, but cannot deny how she feels about boys.

As a woman, I feel as though each of these stories has something to offer a female audience. Like Booksmart, I felt represented. Whenever a shoujo high school anime attempts to discuss sex, it's always too innocent and romantic, where sex is barely even mentioned, or, if it's shonen, it's more sexual and almost pornographic. This is worrying as, if parents and friends aren't talking to teenagers about sex, then they are clueless when it happens to them. It's part of the reason I made One Night Stand: We're in dire need of more realistic stories about sex.

Whilst sometimes handled problematically, O Maidens is still valuable. I wish it had come out when I was the age of the protagonists. Puberty is such a confusing time and it's, like, the biggest thing in your life that no-one's talking about! If you're female and lucky, you get taught sex-education (periods, how pregnancy happens etc) but you probably won't get taught anything about sexuality. This show went there, plus the animation was beautiful. It's a shame I've not seen anyone else talk about O Maidens.

I nearly forget Shibuya Scramble, which was actually one of my most enjoyable gaming experiences of the year! It's because I played it earlier in the year and it was released on Steam and PS4 in 2018. Plus, it's initial, Japanese release was in 2008, too, but enough with my excuses...Let me tell you why I loved it so much!

SS is a visual novel with a few FMV scenes, but mainly static photographs. I don't think I've played a visual novel quite like it. It's like a series of 24 but with Japanese humour to soften the content. At first, SS feels weird and the game design is janky: You get multiple bad endings, and initially these make you want to give up, thinking you've done something wrong but once you realise this is just how the game works, you get into the swing of it and want to discover all the endings. There're 87 different endings, I believe, but the game's designed so you try again to get the true one. You can easily jump to the choices you made and alter them, too.

The music was superb. The acting, even though the game is mainly photographs, was great. The narration was hilariously Japanese, but so engaging I couldn't stop reading it. SS had it all: crime, war, romance, mascot suits, cleaning a toilet, you name it! You play an array of characters who start off not knowing each other. Achi Endo's story was exciting and romantic (hence my favourite), whilst Kenji Osawa's was dark, complex and sci-fi. Everyone is intertwined and it's hard to put the game down once you unlock the barriers.

After the main story is "finished", there are a bunch of extras, and I mean a bunch! I still haven't got them all, which I should rectify because I think I'm still missing out on the true, true ending...But there are loads of additional episodes for the side characters. Canaan's ending is anime styled, whilst Suzune's made me bawl my eyes out: It was an hour or so of visual novel's at their very best.

Shibuya Scramble requires a lot of reading. It's Japanese in tone and humour, but I still recommend it to everyone. Get into the swing of the game after 1-2 hours and I'm sure you'll have as much fun as I did!

I'm very grateful to all the creators who helped work on my favourites from last year! There were a ton more shows, books and games I enjoyed, but I had to draw the line somewhere! (Maybe I should do these lists a little more frequently? Hmm.) A quick shout out to Dreamwork's She-Ra, Tuca & Bertie, Sarazanmai, Shenmue 3, Carole & Tuesday, Hynospace Outlaw, Classmates (the manga) and Death Stranding. However, I'd also like to express my sympathies to Kyoto Animation, who tragically lost so many talented creators. Last year, I watched their film, Liz and the Blue Bird, at Nippon Connection and loved it. Before that, I was wowed by Violet Evergarden's stunning animation, and years prior, I particularly enjoyed Free! and Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid. Their attention to detail was second to none and I just cannot fathom why this tragedy happened.

Please look after and celebrate the creators you love! With that, let's move forward into 2020 with hope for the future.

Take care and I'll be back soon!

It's that time again when I look back at the TV, films, games and books I've enjoyed over the last 12 months. 2019 has been the most trying year of my life, but I honestly feel stronger coming out the other side of it. I have high hopes that things will continue to improve throughout 2020 and life will get back on track!

Because it's been a tough one, this list is waaay longer than I anticipated so it comes in two parts! Note: South Korea bossed part 1!

Like last year, my list is not necessarily "What was new in 2019" – Rather, what was new to me. Warning: There are a few spoilers below but I've tried to mark them all so you can skip ahead if you want.

​Okay, let's begin...

This "game" came at a perfect time. The time we live is trying, we feel lonelier than ever despite being more connected than ever, mental health is at an all time low, and online communities are toxic places. But what if being connected online could actually help us instead? Kind Words achieves this almost effortlessly. When you load the "game" for the first time, you give your name but will only be referred to by your first initial from then on. You receive letters from other, actual humans who are struggling or wanting to share their positivity. You can reply, but only once, and they cannot reply back. They can send you a cute sticker and thanks, but that's it.

It sounds kinda disappointing, right? Anonymity and no way to stay in touch with someone who was kind to you...but that's why it works. People want to help when it suits them i.e. when they load the "game". They do not want to feel burdened or overwhelmed when someone continues requesting help. It's a one time only thing: Try and help, then move onto someone else you maybe able to help. It makes you really consider each word carefully (since there is a character limit) and not turn things sour. Sure, trolling could happen, but I haven't seen it. Trolls will never get any feedback or satisfaction from being mean in Kind Words, so they don't seem to bother. I believe if things go bad, you can report them, although, frankly, I don't understand who'd go to the effort of downloading Kind Words, listen to the chill lo-fi beats, and then be nasty. The "game" is designed for empathy, and I am amazed at some of the kind responses I've received to my own problems. It restores my faith in humanity.

I keep saying "game". It's not a game. Kind Words is so much more than that, but it is being sold on Steam...so I guess it's a game? There are collectable elements and things to work towards, but I see Kind Words more like a perfectly designed online forum: a place to visit once a day or a few times a week to enrich your life and the lives of others. I absolutely love it. Whenever I feel a little hopeless or useless or whatever, I go on Kind Words, maybe write my own problem, and then spend time trying to help others. It encourages empathy and love, which I then throw back at myself. 30 minutes or so later, I walk away feeling better. I can't say the same for the average dose of Twitter or Facebook.

I hope Kind Words becomes an app that's on every device; in the top corner, as important as your cloud save or schedule app. It deserves more than to be lumped with "video games" on Steam.

Blank Canvas is an autobiographical manga by Akiko Higashimura (Princess Jellyfish and Tokyo Tarareba Girls). She's quickly become by favourite mangaka, with Tokyo Tarareba Girls being one of my highlights from last year.

Blank Canvas starts when Akiko is in high school and trying to get into university. She's overly-confident and believes she can do anything, but reality comes crashing down when she meets an art tutor who straight up says her work "Sucks!", "They are all crap!" and "You ain't gettin' in anywhere with this junk!". He's introduced almost like a villain, but in Higashimura's style, these scenes are expressive, full of energy and hilarious. I laughed so much reading this book because it felt so true.

Higashimura looks back at her younger self as naive, silly, even stupid, and when she's back to present day, you can feel the heaviness of her regrets...so much, that these books brought me to full on tears several times. You can feel just how much she loved her sensei through her art, composition and words...Plus, the iconic tracksuit she wears now as her respect for him.

As we get older, we begin to regret the actions of our younger selves. I think that's something everyone feels one way or another, so reading Higashimura's autobiography, even if you aren't an artist, feels so real. Lost moments, opportunities, and even people can forever hold a place in our hearts.

(Spoilers ahead)

This scene from the end of book 2 destroys me. Something as simple as leaving a bottle of shochu can be so dramatic when story-telling is just right. Read bubbles right to left:

Night on the Galactic Railroad, a Japanese animated film from 1985, is odd. It's not a particularly great film, but it mesmerised me for some reason. I felt like I was engulfed in some other world and I loved it for that.

I think part of how it grabbed me is how movies are today. Take Star Wars: Rise of the Skywalker, for example (no spoilers): I walked out saying "I felt like I was flicking through my Twitter feed. We went from one planet, to another, to another like it was nothing". Since when was travelling to planets "nothing"?! (Meanwhile, Akiko Higashimura made me feel the bottom of my soul because of a shochu bottle!) The original Star Wars trilogy would stay on one planet for a long time, establishing it, building atmosphere and showing us the inhabitants. However, the latest trilogy didn't seem to consider taking a pause every now and then to let us get to know a place...Night on the Galactic Railroad does pause, and it's wonderful because of it. Yeah, it's an incredibly slow, almost dull movie, but that almost comes as a surprise these days and was the reason it stuck with me. That and Kunihiko Ikuhara (my favourite anime director) was clearly inspired by it's surrealism as well.

The music is eerie and beautiful, the cinematography is stunning, and the ending is...Well, I won't go there but it got to me! Night on the Galactic Railroad is an old film: It's slow and confusing at times, but it left an impression on me that very few movies have done recently. If you like Ghibli and are tired of Disney, I recommend giving it a watch.

Okay, I enjoyed this show perhaps for all the wrong reasons: I shipped Hong Seol and Baek In-ho HARD, like no other ship before!

The story is about Hong Seol, a university student who can see through her senior's (Yoo Jung) kind exterior. He is manipulative and uses his power and position to destroy the lives of anyone who crosses him. Seol also decides to date him. Whaaaat?!

(Spoilers ahead)

For some reason, Seol chooses to date the sociopath, Jung, instead of "bad" boy (good boy) In-ho. Whilst it's great to see a sociopathic character trying to make himself better, his bullshit hurts Seol in too many, unforgivable ways...hospitalising her many times. What's worse, the couple barely laugh or smile together – Why the heck are they even together?! I just don't understand it! Meanwhile, In-ho protects her, comforts her, makes he laugh, plays piano with her, goes from homeless to hardworking and supports his god-awful sister who he should have ditched long ago. I get that you can't control who you love and what someone does for you does not equal love, but Seol and In-ho looked so happy together! Every scene with Seol and Jung was misery or arguing. Whenever they were close, it felt so forced. I guess she just dated him because he was there first? *shrugs*

Reading into the series' reception, apparently I am not alone. The series is based off a webtoon, which apparently treats In-ho as an after-thought, but in the series he shines, more so than Jung. I assume the director wanted who she ends up with to be a surprise but, to the viewer, it just doesn't make sense. Both actors for Baek In-ho (Seo Kang-joon) and Hong Seol (Kim Go-eun) had chemistry. For them alone, I enjoyed this show, but for everything else, it was frustrating as hell! Still, it lead me on to becoming a Seo Kang-joon fan-girl, so I sought out what else he's starred in, hoping he gets better treatment elsewhere... ​

I actually had a dream about Life is Strange 2 last night...That's how much of an impact this game had on me! When I started the game last year, I was disappointed to find out we play as the older brother, Sean, who doesn't have any special powers. However, as the game progresses, we see just how much of a burden Sean has to take on to protect his younger brother, Daniel, and his powers. Daniel is 10 years old and doesn't quite understand or agree with everything going on around him. Not only are you navigating the crazy situation they find themselves in, you're also trying to raise him as a decent human being (at least, that's what I tried to do).

(Spoilers ahead)

Episode 3 felt like the weakest of all the episodes to me, and after I played it, I waited until 4 and 5 came out so I could play them both together. I guess I was too much of a big brother in episode 3; I went to bed early with Daniel and looked after him, instead of sleeping with Cassidy or kissing Finn...Two things I had no idea you could even do until I heard other people chat about it. So my poor Sean, who was only friends with Cassidy, left the camp a one-eyed virgin, which really skewed my decision of what to do in the last two episodes...

I'd gone from looking after Daniel and caring only for him to putting Sean first. He's only 16 himself and gone through so much shit to protect his brothers powers. The racist scene in episode 4 (where the guys force him to sing in Spanish) tore me apart. I flat out refused to do what they wanted and got beaten to a pulp for it, clearly playing like a typical white person who's never had to deal with this. Honestly, this scene was the strongest in the entire game for me. I really felt the racism and the frustration and injustice that comes with it.

At the end of episode 5, where you decide to push forward of give yourself up, I knew the right thing to do was to give yourself up...though, in my white privileged opinion, I would have done that from the start. Too much had happened since and we know that Sean is going to be in prison for a long time. The poor boy was just defending his brother and trying his best to get through an awful situation. I just couldn't give up at this point...too much had happened. So, I pushed forward and used Daniel's powers for myself (the only time in the game) but since Daniel was raised with morals, he jumped out of the car to be arrested by the police. The brothers never see each other again...and this still tears me up inside. It's what I dreamt about last night: What is Daniel doing locked inside his grandparents house? Will Sean ever see him again? Whilst it's sad, it made the most sense to me. Sean was finally free and Daniel, who had killed people and was dangerous, is kept under close watch.

Like Life is Strange 1, I quickly watched the other endings after completing the game, and yeah, I think I got the best ending for me. If I'd raised Daniel to be a shit, I would have gotten the "happiest" ending of the lot, but at what cost? If I'd played the game oppositely to what I did, Sean would've... Anyway, by episode 4 and 5, I really, really loved Sean. He went through so much and never stopped caring about Daniel. Maybe he made stupid decisions at times, but it never felt frustrating for the player: He's a teenager and learning about who he wants to be, too. He is his own character, but leaves enough player agency to make your choices matter. In what I found to be a year of soulless, silent protagonists, Sean Diaz was a refreshing change.

Eeeee! I loved Tangle Tower! Although I wasn't part of the IGF jury this year, I took part in the judging and got to play a load of indie games. Tangle Tower was the standout to me and I hope it gets the recognition it deserves over the coming months.

I'm not really a murder-mystery fan, but within minutes, Tangle Tower had me hooked. The beautiful background art, music, fabuluous voice-acting and stunning character animations made the experience a delight and I couldn't put it down. The game itself was welcoming and eased you into how to play with a perfect tutorial and clear objective given in the first 15 minutes – Great!

I could honestly gush about the character animations for this whole post, but I won't as you can see how awesome they are yourself. I hadn't played any of the Detective Grimoire games before this, but the mechanics were clever and inspired me for Memories. Even the tip button was nicely implemented; I only used it once (when I was truly stuck) and I didn't feel dirty for doing so. Usually with point-and-clicks, I get stuck all the time, and it's a reason I don't play them as much as I'd like to, but Tangle Tower got it right.

I guess the only thing I wasn't too happy about was how quickly it ended. You know me, I don't have a problem with short games, but the beginning spent many hours investigating everything, whilst the ending got wrapped up in what felt like a few minutes. To me, it felt rushed and I wished I could've seen a few more hints towards the culprit leading up to the end...Though, I suppose murder-mysteries tend to reveal the truth only right at the very end.

I had so much fun with Tangle Tower and it was about 5-7 hours of playtime. I highly recommend it!

Fleabag had been on my list for a while. I'd heard good things but just never got around to it. After the release of season 2, I thought it was finally time to watch it...

I still don't know how to describe Fleabag. It's a drama...about a woman...who runs a small business...in London. Most of the characters are awful people too, but they're fully human; warts and all. I guess what makes Fleabag so great is not what the show is about, but how the show is told. It's intimate and truthful, with Fleabag especially breaking the forth wall and talking to us directly about all her thoughts. It has the perfect balance of humour, love and tragedy.

I watched a lot of shows last year, but Fleabag was probably my favourite. It's perfectly executed and thoroughly entertaining. I already want to watch it again and am gutted I missed the stage show!

I wasn't sure if I'd enjoy Parasite when I saw that it featured heavy violence, but I'd heard good things and, since it's from South Korea, I decided to take the gamble. Whilst I turned away from the violence of last scene (with audio commentary from my fiancé), I couldn't look away for the rest of the film. I felt like I was watching a Hitchcock, except here the story just kept taking unexpected turns after unexpected turns.

I usually write these blog posts full of spoilers, but I don't want to do that for Parasite. It's best to just experience it yourself. I genuinely laughed out loud in the first half of the film and was in shock for the second half. I left the cinema feeling enriched: The morals of the story were on my mind for days afterwards, and it makes me look twice when I see poverty or desperation.

Join me soon for part 2!

​Happy new year everyone!